Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My Creator Don't Make Mistakes

Every year I hear people talk about their resolutions and the new lists of dos and don'ts. I have not made a New Year's Resolution list since I was a pre-teen. Instead, I learned working on yourself and being a better person is a process that takes constant work and dedication.

My fellow blogger and parallel universe walker Lovebabz had an interesting post on being sick of hearing Lady O talk about her weight. I must agree. Ms. O has access to a personal chef, a trainer and more money than most of us could blow through in a lifetime. Proof positive that money isn't everything, right?

What is having everything? What does that mean to you?

It means so many different things to people. For me, it means loving me. How can I expect anyone else to love me when I can't stomach looking at myself in the mirror? My line-sister tells me all the time "God doesn't do coincidences and He doesn't make mistakes."

It took me a long time to realize I am good enough as is. Take it or leave it, baby. I choose to take it and I carry it well. Another one of my sistergirls was cracking up at me at a recent event we attended. They had a hoola hoop contest and yours truly is mean with a hoop. In fact, I made a couple of bucks from a few men that thought my hoola hoop skillz were good enough to pull money out their pocket. (Wasn't sure if I should be offended or flattered, but I sure put the money in my back pocket, LOL! :)

Wait for it, I'm bringing it back full circle.

I don't walk around with my nose in the air or think I am better than anyone else. There will always someone prettier, there will always be someone curvier, there will always be someone who has nicer hair, jewelry, eyes or drives a nicer car. What sets you apart from them is your confidence, and you get that from the love you have for yourself.

Love yourself first, and everyone else will follow...Sing it India!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Drinking From My Saucer

So far 2009 has proven to be a bang up year. I am thankful and have realized that I have so much more than I ever thought possible. The opportunities that are coming my way make me want to pinch myself to make sure this is not a dream. It kind of reminds me of this poem:

Drinking From My Saucer

I've never made a fortune
and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I don't have a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loved ones around me,
and that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.

So God, help me not to gripe about
the tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,
when the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
~ John Paul Moore ~

I realized that I am drinking from my saucer with rich friendships and family that love me in spite of. This past weekend I spent time with The Fam for Founder's Day and realized how many great memories we share and how many we create every time we hang out.

This time we closed down a TGI Fridays and were totally sober as we had a funky good time. I saw a movie with a friend who is quickly carving a place in a niche I didn't know was void. To top it all off, I had great conversations with my Mother, Sister and a Cousin while I finished up a few projects around the house.

As I drag myself back to work this week I realize that life is not measured in dollars and job titles. I appreciate that light bulb moment as I continue to drink from my saucer.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Did you say "Heavy D?"

Yep, I said Heavy D. The Overweight Lover has lost a few pounds and is back in the house :) He has new music and a new flava that I am kind of diggin'. The new album is called Vibes and was released independently late last year. You can get it (and preview the tracks) from Amazon and iTunes.

The new stuff is different, reggae instead of rap/hip-hop but it works for me. It is marketed as Heavy D going back to his Jamaican roots. Reggae, Rap or Hip-Hop I am not going to lie, there is very little music Heavy D put out that I did not like.

Here is the first single Long Distance Girlfriend. What do you think?

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Love List...Compatibility

Compatibility is something many people are leaving up to computer programs and questionnaires on dating sites. Just because you have a similar answer to a question does not mean you are meant to be together forever.

Give me old-fashioned compatibility any day. That thing good love stories are made of. Let me find out we like the same movies, can vibe to the same songs and we both hate traffic. The lust of the first look and the awkwardness of the getting-to-know you stage. Butterflies from the first kiss and the anger of hanging in there while he gets rid of the rest. Come on, you know how it's done.

We rely too much on technology to do what we should be doing. The art of conversation and simply walking up to someone and sincerely saying "you are absolutely beautiful" is lost on most people. Actually, I pleasantly surprised a man the other day when I told him that, and politely walked off so he could enjoy his meal :)

Life is full of surprises. Don't overlook that compatibility because you are busy searching for something else...

KayC's Love List:

50. Understands that love comes in many forms
51. Can enjoy a ride down the coast of Cali in a convertible
52. Will hike through the Redwoods with me
53. Has the ability to make me feel sexually comfortable
54. Can speak at least one other language besides English
55. Knows how to pleasantly embarrass and surprise me like this:

KayC's Love List # 1-20
KayC's Love List # 21-30
KayC's Love List # 31-40
KayC's Love List #41-50

Monday, January 5, 2009

I Am THAT Woman

I spent the last few weeks of 2008 hanging with relatives I have not seen in years, enjoying some great company and hanging with wonderful friends and fam. I have attended great parties and consumed more spirits than I care to admit, but it was absolutely wonderful.

I never thought I would be THAT woman. You know THAT woman, she enjoys herself despite the other women cutting their eyes at her, she enjoys a man's company without becoming completely wrapped up in him. She is comfortable enough to not let things get to her. Yeah, THAT woman.

It hit me like a ton of bricks over the holiday. I have become the woman I always wanted to be. I can celebrate myself without being cocky or arrogant. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way the woman I am going to be, but I am definitely not the woman I used to be. I used to dream of being stable, confident, comfortable in my own skin, and have a place to call home. I used to dream of being a performer, being on stage with a spotlight highlighting my performance.

On my Christmas vacation I realized that I had reached all those things. I have a stable job, thanks to working out and getting rid of the stress in my life I am confident in my skin, and I can walk into a room with my head held high. I can enjoy my own company and hold my own on any dance floor (with or without a partner). But my major accomplishments this year was getting a home that is now my safe haven and becoming that performer that I always wanted to be.

That dream of becoming an entertainer was pushed so far down in my psyche I had forgotten about it until someone asked me "when is your next performance, you dance like an angel." Me? I stood there in shock as surely she was not referring to me. But slowly I internalized that she was and told her of the next performance and hopefully she will attend. At the start of 2008 I thought my world was over and it would never be the same. I was right. My world will never be the same.

My world is now better than I could imagine it to be.

This year is not about resolutions for me. It is about continuing to make myself a better woman, a better person, making more steps to the person I know I can be. Enjoying the fact that I can walk into a room and be so comfortable in myself that other woman seem to be intimidated. Know that I can go to my own home and escape the world. But most of all, I know that GOD has brought me through the flames a better person, a more understanding person, a more mature person, comfortable in her own skin. Only GOD has made me THAT woman.

But I sure am enjoying her... :)