Monday, October 13, 2014

Adventures in Online Dating - Did He Really Say that?

It took some convincing for a few friends to talk me into this online dating thing. There are a few people in my social circles that have met using an online forum and it has worked for them. One of the couples married this past weekend. Congrats!

I tried the free trial first and it was...okay. It was really interesting that most men were only interested in women under the age of 35 and listed every ethnic group instead of African-American/Black. Man, there is very little love for black women in online dating. I can not even say women of color because they all seem to favor Latina/Hispanic and even Asian or Pacific Islander. They really listed EVERYONE except black women.

I mean.....WOW.... O_O

Well, I had about 30 emails before I decided that I would actually go on and check this thing out. Most of them were from the typical black men, hat over his eyes, chest out in photos, using emails that were obviously copied and pasted to every girl he saw. One even asked me to lunch in the first very email. Try at least asking my name first, okay? What was really interesting was that most of the men who seemed to take the time to read my profile and try to make an interesting conversation were white men. And they were not playing with their approach, which made the other men pale in comparison.

But there was one IM message that took place that was worth sharing. It went something like this:

Him: I can help you with your career
Me: My career?
Him: Yes, I can help you. I can show you some moves
Me: *crickets*
Him: Do you make money dancing?
Me: How can you help me with my career?
Him: I can show you some moves
Me: You don't know what type of dance I do
Him: I can help
Me: Are you a strip club owner? Manager?
Him: No, I can just help
Me: I'm ending this conversation now. Good Bye

and then I hit the block button. Laughed at him and signed off. That was my first and last instant message conversation on that site. I never said dancing was my profession. My profession is listed and it is NOT dance. Anyone else thinks he was a pimp? Yeah, I do as well.

Did he really say that?!?

Stay tuned, I am sure there is more to come

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Bucket List....I did WHAT?!? WHERE? (Dancing in Cuba)

I put together a bucket list back in 2009 (I think) which included all kinds of things I want to do but never really thought I would accomplish. After I started dancing I put "salsa dance in a club in Havana" on the list. Never did I think I would actually ever have the opportunity to go to Havana, Cuba let alone salsa dance in one of the oldest salsa clubs in the world. Little did I know...

In May of this year I went to Cuba. 

There are always live bands performing there. Wonderful bands that we choreograph performances to here, yeah, they perform there daily. They are right in front of you, they talk to you, take photos with you and pose for photos from stage. There were two guys there who were tearing up the dance floor. My friend and I watched them for a while until I said, "I would love to go dance with him." My friend took my drink and phone and said, "go ask him."

With the liquid courage from a few rum and cokes I walked up to him, (with my familia de Cubano wondering where I was going) simply held out my hands, and this happened...

THIS is why I love dance. We said not one word to each other as he took my hand and danced and laughed through the song as the band jammed on stage. At one point I looked up and we had an audience watching who were enjoying our dance just as much as we were. When the song ended I offered him a hug and said "Thank you" in English. I caught the look of surprise on his face as it registered with him that I was American. My Cuban family clapped as I walked back to our tables and I bowed playfully as it sank in that I had just crossed off that bucket list item.

Something I thought I would NEVER get to do.

Man, sometimes I look at this video to make sure it really happened. More on my trip of a lifetime later.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Monday, September 29, 2014

Adventures in Online Dating - Single Again

A while ago I promised myself to stop being superficial with my writing so here goes.

Yep, you read that right. I am back on the singles scene. One of the things that happened while I was on blogging hiatus was the ending of the relationship with Theo. It was pleasant split (in the end) and I once again learned that I need to follow that small voice inside you. I had reservations at the start. There were questions of maturity and such things that made me realize I was not his wife.

He was happy but I was not. I was not happy and I knew there was no way I could be happy in that relationship, for a variety of reasons. As more pressure to marry and cohabitate was put on me daily I felt like someone was pushing me into a corner. Yeah, you read that right. The woman in the relationship literally had a slight panic attack at the counter looking at rings. I could not get myself into another marriage that was not fulfilling, not supportive nor emotionally balanced as I gave too much and received too little.

But, all of that happened a while ago and I have now been talked into online dating. I thought about it and said "sure, why not." My main reason was/is to meet someone who is not in my social circle. People think my city is large but in reality it is not. If you went to high school and college here, chances are there is only one or two degrees of separation between you (or your girls) and that new guy you met while hanging out. And I refuse to have my partner have a "past" with anyone I know socially. The last thing I want to happen is to have one of sorority sisters try to "compare notes" with me at a function because she "knows" the guy who is currently trying to fill my life partner position. And yes, that has happened before which knocked him right out of the running.

I also refuse to deal with the crap that comes from your guy having a past with every woman on the dance floor because he uses dance as his dating pool. There is also the "secret relationships" on the dance floor with the married folk and their side pieces while their public partners are usually none the wiser. Yep, been there as well.

So, here I am. A woman of a certain age, trying something new.

There will be stories, trust me.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...