No really, she had a conversation with a friend (lets call her Julie) who could not understand why my sister wanted to spend her extra time with her husband. Granted Julie is also married to a contractor who works in Iraq and only comes home for one month twice a year. Julie complains the she needs a vacation from him while he provides a very nice roof over her head, money to go to school (she does not work) and a new car. I would imagine they would stay in a constant honeymoon state because of the limited time they have together but she has problems spending two months out of the year with him.
Which brings us back to love.
Most people marry for love. They are in undeniable, no-holes-bared love when they walk down the aisle and profess this love to God, family and friends, right? So what happens after the vows?
People do not realize love is a choice. You can chose to love someone just like you can chose to stop loving someone. If love is not a choice, than you could never move on from a broken heart and you could never love another person after that first love broke your heart. Let's break this down...
People often confuse that butterfly in the gut, want to jump their bones feeling with love. That is not love, many people describe it as lust or infatuation. I call it the Cloud Nine Stage (more on that later). I think it was best explained by Carrie Bradshaw in Sex in the City as the Zsa Zsa Zsu. Some unexpainable feeling (or chemical reaction if you read this previous post) that makes you want to be around that person every chance you get.
But, after we get used to the Zsa Zsa Zsu (and we always do) we began to see the other person's flaws, those habits that tick us off. And then we chose rather we want to continue with them. We chose to love them (or not) through it all.
The choice of love is what makes you want to continue to work at the relationship, but the Zsa Zsa Zsu often keeps there. Chosing love makes you nourish a relationship when it is dying, make time for that person in a busy world, ask yourself if your partner would be ticked off if I did X, Y or Z. Love is a careful, honest and sometimes brutal choice.
I love plenty of people I would never be in a relationship with, but the Zsa Zsa Zsu is what I want to have with my life companion.
I know some of you have thoughts on this one. What do you think? Is love a choice?
*Photo is Cherishing.The.Moment by Fred. Matthews*