Heartbroken

I am heartbroken. A special person died this morning and I....feel so empty.

I have written about my Familia de Cubano many times here. Salsa has become so much a part of my life that it is strange to look back and not have a good memory that does not include someone who dances with me. 

I learned to dance Cuban style salsa from a wonderful couple. The man affectionately known as "The Papi" and his partner. A woman who has always laughed and opened her home and heart to me like I was indeed family. They adopted me, took me under their wings, opened their home for holidays and gatherings and lifted me up whenever I felt down.

In the past 8 years I have grown to know and love them both like family. 

Today...this morning....one half of that couple has left this world....my heart is broken. As I type through tears I remember the good memories, her extremely bright blue (and sometimes green) eyes and the smile she shared with everyone. No one has a laugh as infectious as hers.

My life was/is better because of them both, because of her generosity. My Cuban family has suffered a tremendous loss. My heart breaks for The Papi and it is so very heavy today.

I take a little comfort that she is not in pain anymore. And I am extremely lucky to have known her and shared the years of her life. She touched so many....

...but I am heartbroken.

Our last words to each other...

I said, "Smooches hun, love you. Feel better!"

Her almost whispered response, "Smooches. Love you too!"

Birthday Reflections 2013

Where does the time go? I have a habit of taking care of everyone except myself and this year is no different. I found myself in a bit of a situation on my birthday. It was one of the worst days ever! Thank God it is over. I spent the day dealing with a dying car, tow trucks, arguments and disagreements. Not what a celebration of another year of life should be. All of which is making me withdraw, sit back and reflect on my part in it all. Time to make changes, make an assessment of what, where and how and keep living life. Happier..

I am researching cars now to replace my slowly dying 14 year old ride. When did cars become so expensive?!? Even the entry level models are more expensive than I expected. I am not the type to go out and get a luxury brand just to show people my 'status' or lifestyle. I want a car that will last, with little to no repair costs and a reasonable price tag. I have been searching for a few days. My luck is not so good as of right now. Hoping my car will last until I find that great deal I am looking for. Meanwhile every trip is started and ended with a prayer and a "thank you Jesus!"

I have a new job and a new career path. I took a lateral move from the only career I have ever had to hopefully make a better move for myself. It has been about three months now and I feel like a teenager. There is so much to learn and man, people will try their best to run over you in this position. I am standing my ground and holding my own now but at first...well, things were more than a little hairy. I would come home every day thinking I might not have made the best move. I will feel even better after a promotion. That should come within the next 6 months after my training period is complete.

I hope all is well with you blog fam. As for me...things will get better. There is always peace after the storm. In fact, some of the most peaceful moments come after violent storms.


Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Real Love

“I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, 

can't-live-without-each-other love.” - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

I love that quote. It describes that "love" that everyone seems to chase with reckless abandon. When you get older, you realize that life is not a fairy tale written by emmy winning television writers in a room on a movie production lot.

For a long time I did not know any happily married couples. Everyone I knew was either divorced, fighting an ugly custody battle over children or bashing their significant other to anyone who would listen. It is hard to keep a positive outlook when everyone is so negative. 

Then I met a couple who have been married for 30 years, all the children belong biologically to both of them and they are still happy. It made me feel good. After a little while I met another couple that was truly happy with each other, then another and slowly my faith started to return.

Then I started to look at myself and my own relationship. The quest for real love is something else. I am not searching for it but it would nice if it found me. Eventually, when I am really ready to receive it. 

The Mary J song was just in my head. It felt a little appropriate given the circumstances:

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings from  

Proud of Her

I posted a few years ago about my cousin and I making a pact to see the world together. We took a cruise and then things went south (the best laid plans of mice and men). She took on a part-time job and I had a few unexpected car repairs come up that took the "extra" I had planned on using for travel (outside of my scheduled performances).

Well, fast forward a few years and my cousin is now a new mommy! This is something she has wanted for some time but had experienced a great deal of complications in doing so. What makes me so proud of her? Other than the obvious thing of opening your heart and life to a precious life that requires molding and guidance? I am proud of her because she adopted a very lucky baby girl.

African-Americans tend to frown upon adoption but we have adopted for generations. We just called it "so-and-so will come stay with us for a while." Then they never left. What is adoption other than that? Kids living with relatives or friends of the family while their parents "got themselves together." Sound familiar? You had cousins growing up like siblings and friends children being treated like one of their own for many years. Adoption (to me) is just like that but with legal paperwork.

My cousin is single, never been married but knew she wanted to be a mother. She is extremely stable, has two sisters and a brother in immediate proximity who help with the baby along five nieces and nephews who are old enough to baby sit when needed (whom she helped raise and was there for daily). Like I said, this baby will never know what it is like to NOT be loved.

Photo courtesy of her Auntie

Seeing her with her new daughter warms my heart. It is strange to see her with her own child and her sisters fuss over her daughter like she is their own (I often tease her that she adopted a baby for her sisters, she is not the mom :-) Referring to her as "mommy" will take some getting used to but I am so proud of her for going after the life she wants. She knew what wanted, knew what path she wanted her life to go and made it happen. In doing so, she is making life wonderful for a little girl who might not have had the same opportunities she will have now.

One thing I do talk to lucky baby about is our little joke. Her mother and I were the last two women in the family to not have children. Lucky baby and I were lounging on the sofa and I was failing miserably at keeping her awake in an effort for her to sleep at night. Lucky baby -1, KayC - 0. 

I told her, "Your mommy and I had a pact to see the world. We were the last two who did not have babies and then she was blessed with you. Now why did she go and do that to me?"

While sleeping peacefully in my arms she stretched, smiled a little, yawned and continued to sleep.

Lucky baby indeed :-)

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Following My Intuition

I was catching up on some blog reading this holiday weekend and one of favorite bloggers was talking about being superficial in her writing. Being shallow in what she writes and the stories she tells about life. It was timely to me. So timely in fact that I could have been reading my own writing.

I started this blog what seemed like a few years back as an outlet. My life was in shambles and I was trying to find my way through the flames. This was the one place I was honest. The one place where I would pour my heart out under pen names and pseudonyms to protect the innocent and not so innocent.

Somehow I got away from that. I stopped putting things down on paper because I never wanted to live through them again. But that is not fair to myself. I need an outlet. I need something to get it out of my head and let go and give it to God. The good and the not so good.

I dusted out my journal yesterday and still have not written a word in it. What I have done is re-read a few things from the last time I put pen to paper over three years ago. I had forgotten all the little things that led up to major decisions at that time. Things that make journaling (and this blog) so important.

What I need to do is learn to follow my intuition. That gut feeling that never seems to steer me wrong. Whenever something goes wrong in my life it is because I went against that feeling. I find myself dealing with things in the end of relationships that I KNEW would be issues because they were nagging in my gut in the beginning. I find myself saying " I KNEW BETTER" whenever I go against that tiny voice inside of me. About anything.

From this point on I have made myself a promise. I will follow that gut instinct.

I will start now...

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings from  

Things I learned in Vegas (The Good, Bad and WAY too Ugly)

Another bucket list item crossed off. I finally made it to Las Vegas and I now know why they call it Sin City. I am not the demographic they had in mind when they built the place. We were there for four days and by day three KayC was ready to go home.

Lesson #1 - Do not plan on doing much of anything when you travel all day after starting at 6 in the morning. When we finally fought the herds of people to buy shuttle tickets to the hotel and another massive herd of folks to check into our room, I was ready to curl up and sleep. No drinks for me on night one, I was too damn tired!

Lesson #2 - You will attract all of the drunk people of a certain skin tone who have an affinity for women of color but will never admit it sober. Men ran up behind us to take photos and quickly run off. One grabbed my friend's butt and then tried to pretend he didn't do it. Celebrity life is NOT for me.

Lesson #3 - Drunk women of a certain color will take their heels off and walk barefoot down a nasty street in Vegas for the sake of being "cute" 0_o

Lesson #4 - Yes, whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but you might have taken it too far when you need two friends to almost carry you to your room. Oh, and drinks are served 24/7 along with no apparent open container law. Drink, drink, gamble, drink is the motto.

Lesson #5 - Dry heat is still heat. I am now an even lovelier shade of brown.

Lesson #6 - You must walk through a casino to get to....well, everything! Your room, the corner cafe, the restrooms, and there is a slot machine in every corner.

Lesson #7 - Take your allergy and/or asthma meds with you! As a matter of fact, refill your prescription before you go because you will need it. The smoke just lingers and attacks you at will. My furry one was sniffing my carry on bag after I returned home like "where in the hell have you been?!?"

Lesson #8 - The USA is the most out of shape, let it all hang out, show it to the world and let it jiggle country in the world! People really need to buy their size and cover it up.

Lesson #9 - If I return to Sin City I will venture off the strip and see hot the locals live. I can't imagine being around that 24/7 without having a severe care of adult ADHD.

It was all worth it with the new dances that were had. All in all it was a good trip and a new experience. The performance went well and all the instructors were full of compliments after we were done. What made this trip EPIC? We had a private lesson with a couple I have admired for years. I always thought she was badazz but seeing her in person...made me feel like a novice. I need to improve my salsa, like yesterday. And to top it off....they were both very humble.

But see for yourself. This clip is a few years old but her body movement is unmatched! And yes, she moves like that all. the. freakin'. time!

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings from  

Storm Breaker...Hump Day

I LOVE this commercial. It makes me laugh every time I see it. The advertisers should get an award for this one.







Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings from  

Random Thunderstorms... (The Celebratory Booty Dance)

It's been a long time....the writer is me is active but it takes so much to sit down in front of a computer or (heaven forbid) a pen and paper to get my thoughts out. I must get better at it. Writing and dancing serve as my therapy. No wonder I've been "under the weather lately."


My mom came for a visit and it was quite entertaining to have my aunts, uncles and cousins under one roof again. I have not laughed that hard in a very long time. I shake my head at the crazy foolishness that goes on but thank God for the great memories.


I have a new cousin. She was born on July 9th and she is spoiled already. She likes to lay on your legs to sleep. Move her and she doesn't wake up, she just shifts around, gets comfy, throws her arms out and begins to snore. Newborns are so sweet. When do we lose that ability to adapt?


My performance group is going to VEGAS! Four days of fun, dance and who knows what else. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I can not wait. Another item on my bucket list will be checked. Yep, I am doing this:




Side note: my hair is hating this weather! It is currently pulled up and back in what the Superintendent complimented as a "pretty regal hair style." O_0


Call me cheap but I determined to get to the 200K mile mark with my car. It had 12 miles when I bought it and has a wicked oil leak. I fixed some stuff and took it Wally World for tires. That experience was dreadful! NEVER again. And they had the nerve to give me a customer survey. I am the type of person who fills out surveys and I did go onlline and complete a complaint and cited everyone involved. I suggested they use a different system to select their management and possibly a customer service training program? Yeah, I said it. Yes I did!

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings from  
                                   


   

MEETING My Favorite Band

Do you have a favorite artist? The group/person that you hear and you run out and try to buy (or download) every thing they have released?

Photo Source

I have one. I originally blogged about them two years ago. They are a Timba Latin band and I have been a fan every since I found out they were behind one of my favorite songs. By the time they were rumored to be working on a second album they were being hailed as the hottest/best band to come out of Cuba. They had their first US tour last year but my city was unfortunately not on their itinerary. Cuban bands must have visas to come to the US and sometimes they are not approved so traveling to another city to see them may or may not work out.

I was very happy to see my city on their itinerary this go around.

The sound was great and I have not been star struck before but standing 3 feet from the people who make the music I adore is....priceless! One of my fellow salsa performers is as much of a fan as I am and we booth literally swooned when the band leader (and lead singer) walked on stage. Each member of the band is a brilliant musician in their right and we enjoyed that show from opening note to closing encore.

They had a few special guests (Cuban Conga players and Rumba Dancers) they were flat out absolutely fabu! Even the band members had looks of approval. The night was epic! My inner Salsera is fulfilled for a while.



My only regret on the concert is that the lead singer is also a brilliant trumpeter and I was highly disappointed that he did not play his trumpet during the concert. AT ALL! There was no trumpet stand on stage! That is the equivalent of seeing Prince sing at a concert and him never picking up a guitar. Still a great show but severely lacking the icing on the cake.

No literally, the man is hailed as the best trumpeter coming out of Cuba...and that is not easily done with the music programs there. Check out a solo from a previous performance:




What did make me giddy is actually meeting the man himself...in person! He is very gracious and speaks not one word of English. Damn, my Spanish must get better. We surprised him by asking him to sign our folding fans. Folding fans? Yes, those hand fans that are often seen with dancers fanning themselves? I have a few from Cuba and we have beautiful wooden ones that are now autographed by Alexander! (Yes, I stopped by the store and bought a sharpie) In hindsight we should have included the entire band but I was so star struck I forgot. He smiled as I think no one has ever asked him to do that. Maybe he will remember us next time when we ask for the rest of the band to add their signatures.

Such a fantastic night! The only time I have attended a dance night, danced for 2 songs and been totally fulfilled. I must do that again.

   

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

The First Time...

I love dance. I love most genres of dance but my attention right now is Cuban-style salsa.

I started to dance salsa about seven years ago when I started to find myself again and was hooked after my first class. I attended a free weekly class taught by a Cuban and his girlfriend and quickly became a member of the unofficial "Cuban Coalition." He has danced all his life and she was raised in ballroom but found salsa as an adult.

As with love I have a love/hate relationship with salsa at times. There were times due to petty drama (yes, even the dance floor has petty drama) that I stopped dancing but I always seem to find my way back to the dance floor. I have performed with Grammy nominated artists and taught classes with my performance group but this week I taught my very first class solo.

My adopted Cuban family spends 2-3 weeks every year visiting family in Cuba and while they are gone, they have someone cover their classes. This week, that someone was yours truly. I had to decide what I would teach during class (many different levels of dancers) and how I would get my "lesson" across to people with so many levels of dance skill. I prepared my music and worked through my nerves to get through class.

I was lucky to have enough people attend that could lead to actually teach what I wanted and we built an entire class that ended with them dancing socially through an entire song (something entirely new to them). We went over technique, finding (and staying) on beat and leading/following technique. Then applied all of those to a series of moves that they can use to dance. It was a great feeling to have people go from looking at me crazy to saying "let's add on more to that!" I had a good time with them and I can only hope they enjoyed it as well.

I did lose one because she "didn't have a partner." Interesting because there were three leads short so neither did the other two ladies but they were patient and we were worked in the rotation. What's the phrase about pleasing all the people all the time? Guess she's part of that 1% but I think she wanted individual attention. Not happening in a free group class. You want one on one, you must pay for THAT experience! I did get some positive feedback after class with people thanking me and saying how much they learned and how much more confidence they have in their dancing.

All in all I feel very good about my first time.

Now I need to up my equipment game. Anyone have a set of these laying around they want to donate to the cause?


Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Random Thunderstorms...(I, I and I)

It must be the season change because I find myself in a slump. I am wondering how I allowed myself to get in this mundane life with very little things I enjoy? Just typing that made me take a DEEP breath. I...will....change...my...direction....


I have no luck with jobs. Maybe it's my resume, maybe it's my name? All I know is that I get no responses when looking and submitting for jobs. THAT is frustrating as hell! (And NO, I have zero interest in going back to school and acquiring more student loans)


I was embarrassed for the MC who mispronounced Me'Shell N'Degeocello's name numerous times at the jazz festival. I cracked up when she came back to the mic to say it correctly. Come on! The event coordinator should have given him a phonetics cheat sheet. He should have cared enough to make sure it was correct before he embarrassed himself on stage...more than once! And by the way, you must have a WORKING sound system when you have a festival!!! (just sayin')

Word of the day in that last statement is "SHOULD"


My cousin is adopting a baby this summer. Now (of course) everyone is looking my way. Um, do any of you have day care money? Formula money? Pamper money? NO?!?! I thought not!


I borrowed a pressure-washer from my co-worker and it just reiterated to me that I could really be the more colorful version of the lady on the Rehab Addict show. I need a stash of power tools. Let me get my wish list together.


I have not been in the mood to write lately. I have forced out this bit so let me be quiet while I'm ahead. What's going on with you blog fam?

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

A Groupie?!?

"I have fallen out of love with dance."

I said this to a blogger via email last week. It is not that I do not like dance anymore, but more so the "scene" was starting to turn me off from dancing socially. People are acting like they are still in high school. There are cliques who only dance among themselves and there are people whoring around on the 'down-low' while having spouses, children and significant others. 

I suppose most of that will always happen but it is a bit disheartening when you treat an art form as such and only want to enjoy it. Because of everything going on I had pretty much stopped social dancing outside of supporting loved ones and good friends. 

I still perform with my salsa group. We have received some amazing offers to perform. Without them and my adopted Cuban family I think I may have stopped dancing all together by now. I think both groups are the reason I may have found my dance mojo again.

We received an invite to share the spotlight with a great salsa group who were coming to the area. Before I was a member, the girls danced with this group the last time they came to the area a few years ago. I had no idea I was in for such a treat! The group of  seven musicians combine Jazz, R&B, Classical and modern Cuban (known as Timba) to create a unique sound that literally makes you get out of your seat. 

The lead singer introduced our group and we got a chance to share the spotlight with these truly incredible musicians. They are gracious and humble (we also met them backstage before the show) and even danced with the crowd after the show. (try getting an American "musical celebrity" to do that). The best thing after the show was having them tell US thank you!

Thank us?!? Nope, thank you! We danced, laughed, sang along with the songs and even beat on the stage along with the drummer. We had so much fun that every time a musician had a solo they would come straight to us at the edge of the stage. I guess we had too much fun with the band because while waiting for a photo-op after the show, a young college student called us groupies.

O_0

Groupies?!?

Who you calling groupies?!?

If dancing through a concert, having the band introduce you as "special guests" and having the lead singer dance in the middle of your group in the dance area and using your group to start the conga line makes us groupies, then yes young buck. I will take that title. I will take it proudly and you know why?

Because dancing with them made me realize why I fell in love with dance in the first place. THAT will make me a groupie any day!

The band ended their concert with a conga line lead by the singer through the crowd (while still singing, of course) and around the audience. We picked up people as we went and had an absolute blast. In fact the band director (piano player) was introducing the last song and one of my fellow dancers and myself were at the stage chanting "conga, conga" and he stopped his speech to say "Yes, ladies. We are going to conga."

*KayC giggles like a school girl*

I think you should conga too :-)

Click here to buy their music Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

       

Storm Breaker...How to Beat a Speeding Ticket

With all the crazy weather we sure need a Storm Breaker. This is an oldie but it sure is funny!


A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too!



Have a wonderful day!



Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...


      

Random Thunderstorms...(Totally Random)

I love DIY and decorating shows. I could see myself being the black rehab lady on this show. I've been making a list of things to do around my house and prioritizing the order. I am determined to make my personal space my own.

In 2008, I put myself on a strict budget and was determined to come out of the hole left by the marriage  in 5 years. I am proud to say I have paid off ALL credit card debt slightly ahead of schedule! That right there....THAT right there?!? (Yeah, I'm using my best K.att W.illiams voice)

Rest assured after getting into something of a financial bind, KayC will not ever do that again. Married, cohabitation,  parent or otherwise. I have learned to say "No" and mean it. 

I have found the dance floor again and it is lovely. Teaching is okay (I am available for private lessons if you live near me, LOL!) but I adore social dancing. It speaks to my soul. Music and dance have a love affair that should never end.

My other love affair is film/TV. This trailer makes me remember why I love film. In high school and college I wanted to make movie trailers. This one is baddazz:

Woohoo to the local dealership for discounts on repairs! My 13 year old car is still trying to make it and I am determined to nurse it for another year. Yay for over $100 in savings! It could always be worse, right? Yeah, as soon as I paid off the credit cards :(

My furbaby is almost 11 years old. Which means he is like an 80 year old human.He has lived with me since he was 9 months old. He has been with me through separation, living with friends and family, divorce, apartments and now my own home. I am trying to get my head around not having him one day. That is not easy but I hear him whine and his joints crack when he lies down. He even hesitates to climb the stairs at times.

Sigh, I know what's coming.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

One Step Closer

This year has been about finding real joy. The kind of joy that allows you to simply live each and every day independent of who is or is not participating that day. I am talking about keeping the kind of peace I enjoy on Saturday mornings when I leisurely walk the fur baby and curl up in my favorite corner of the sofa donning some sweats, a ponytail and an old tshirt.

I need that in my life. At this point I crave it.

I am searching for that thing I was 'born to do" and makes me happy. At one point I thought it was dance but I do not want the weekly commitment of teaching people. I enjoy dancing socially and the occasional classes but the thought of being tied to something weekly gives me the heeby jeebies. (spell checker had a field day with that one)

I find myself coming back to my first love. The thing I wanted to do when I was high school. The thing that made me rush to the movies early so I wouldn't miss a second of the previews. I am not sure if I am too old to pursue this dream but something in me tells me to keep trying.

I found another aide in helping me to figure this all out. These quizzes are interesting.

Your Result:

Your Scores

Many people have two or three strong striving styles, and they can all be important in leading you to the person you are meant to be. If you have a few "highest" scores, read each matching description by clicking the arrow below, and see what rings most true.

Striving to Help: 12

Striving to Be Recognized: 6

Striving to Be Creative: 15

Striving to Be Spontaneous: 9

Striving to Be Knowledgeable: 15

Striving to Be Secure: 11

Striving to Be In Control: 12

Striving to Be Creative

You are an artist: You came out of the womb with a paintbrush in your hand. Or maybe it was a flute or a castanet or a fountain pen to go with your poet’s imagination. The point is, you’re an original, and you know it. Even if you don’t have a singular gift, you’re drawn to the arts—anything creative, for that matter— and you have a unique way of looking at the world. Your need for depth and authenticity in relationships can lead to both great joy and profound sorrow, depending on whether others reciprocate. You don’t care so much about adapting to group or societal expectations; your independence and sharp intuition propel you on your own path.
What to watch out for: When fear of conformity overrides your creativity, you can assume the role of “outsider” or “orphan” and end up feeling alienated. You may even go so far as refusing to vote or pay taxes. This lone-wolf stance might be a defense against feeling vulnerable. Try to be aware that blaming others for your banishment, or pushing away those who want to get close, only makes things worse. Also, dramatizing your emotions can interfere with your creativity.
Looking ahead: As long as you genuinely express yourself, you feel like the person you were meant to be. How you do it is irrelevant. A chef or architect can be as much of an artist as a painter or sculptor. Many advertising and public relations executives are also highly imaginative. Beyond work, there are opportunities everywhere you look to coax out your inner artist: Design your own jewelry line, create an innovative blog, dream up a comic strip. Relationships are another avenue for self-expression.

Striving to Be Knowledgeable

You are an intellectual: As a leader, you’re often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you’re driven to deeply understand how things work. But that’s things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it’s just that you don’t need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn’t your goal—you’re secure enough in your cerebral pursuits. 

What to watch out for: When you can’t find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information, which can make you seem smug or arrogant. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend’s help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities like jogging, hiking, or dance.
Looking ahead: You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Joining a philosophy society? Studying and practicing Buddhist meditation? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Writing a historical book? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive.

The Job for You

3. Striving to be creative: Imagination and personal expression are important to this type, so they enjoy jobs as:
Graphic Designers
Art Directors
Yoga Instructors Drug Addiction Counselors
Architects
Actors/Musicians/Dancers/Athletes
College Professors
Yoga or Meditation Teachers

5. Striving to be knowledgeable: Deep thinking and an inventive spirit help this type excel in fields like:
Biomedical Research
Computer Programming
Law
Education
Engineering
Management
Environmental Planning
Telecommunications

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

The Meetup...Yeah, THAT one

I like my hair. I have not put any chemicals in my hair for about 17 years and counting. Way before all the blogs (unheard of in the 90's) and the web sites that help women transition and be their most glorious natural self.

My help was the first black hair care (dot) com before it disappeared and reappeared as something new. There was also naturally curly (dot) com which had a small section for us with tighter, coily and kinky hair. I muddled my way through and lived on those boards until figuring out how to do my hair.

Now I often forget about my hair. I am shocked at times when I get a compliment or a stranger asks me about products or techniques. I could care less about shrinkage or how long it looks on a particular day. I have been featured on hair sites and I enjoy reading about hairstyles but am usually the last to spend money on a new product.

Source

After typing all of that maybe that is the reason I was majorly disappointed in a recent curl girl meetup with Mizani. I plan events, which makes it difficult sometimes to just relax and enjoy them but this one....my people, my people.

They asked that you RSVP and it made it mandatory that you add a friend to the list. I was fine with that because I was taking a dear friend and fellow dancer because she still has hair questions. 

We arrived 10 minutes before the event began and stood in line, outside, in the freezing cold, wondering WHY the doors were not open when it started at 7? About 10 minutes after that we became really annoyed when they continued to take photos of the ladies in line, obviously freezing with feet hurting as they begin to rethink their wardrobe choices for the night.

We made a few friends while standing in line as we discussed being stuck in line and what products we use (strangely enough none of us used the products by the sponsor of the event) and laughed as the line finally begin to move. Sometimes you just gotta laugh because after they checked our ID we were just ushered into the relatively small space without anyone checking the mandatory RSVP list. 

About 5 of the 8 or so booths were reserved for the "guest speaker" which left little to no seats for the crowd and we were wondering just how many people one person could bring with them to take up FIVE booths?!? Well, we went to check out the upstairs area and met a few more curlies who were talking about their disappointment of the venue. Apparently the place has great pizza, we had to take her word for it because there was no food being served. No appetizers and no menus to order your own... at a restaurant. 

They did do a short intro of the who's who of people including the "guest speaker" who said three sentences and headed to the photo area by the door. We were instructed to pick up a goodie bag and "talk and meet your fellow curlies to talk about hair and products" during the event. 

Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I expected an event to not hold people outside in the freezing cold. Maybe I expected for the "guest speaker" to be at the event when it starts and not arrive 45 into an event that only lasts for 2 hours. Maybe I expect hair demos to be demonstrated throughout an event that advertises hair demos. Maybe I expect to not see the people scrolling through songs on Pandora while they are showing a video on the projection screens. 

Maybe I EXPECT too much but now I see why certain businesses are in the position they are in.

I do enjoy reading the blog of the "guest speaker" and have enjoyed it since it's inception but I think I will skip the next time she "shuts ish down" in my city.

We waded through the crowd waiting to take photos with her at the front door and left to go to a restaurant that was serving food...and had a beer!

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Learning, Struggling, Healing and Moving Forward

At the end of the year I wrote this post explaining why I was in a bit of a slump and my need and desire to get out of it. Thank you for the replies and I did follow some advice and looked around for a few career assessments and tests to see what may be out there. 

I am not a college kid anymore and I find myself slashing things off my list because I feel I am too old to do a few things I wanted to do. Ha! I can not believe that I typed that. When did we become adults and too old for anything?!?

Well, I took a free online test and it gave me some pretty insightful things on my personality. Including KayC has the personality of a whopping 1% of the population. That might explain why I think a lot of people are strange and have a hard time figuring out why things went down the way they did. I will spare you the gory details but what I found interesting was the list of suggested careers for my personality. They were: 

career counselor

psychologist
educational consultant
special education teacher
librarian
artist
minister
playwright
novelist/poet
editor/art director
information-graphics...designer
HRM manager
merchandise planner
environmental lawyer
marketer
job analyst
mental health counselor
dietitian/nutritionist
research
educational consultant
architects
interpreter/translator

Very interesting considering I have held or thought about most of the jobs on this list. I am looking into a few of them and trying to figure out if I can somehow make this a career move that I will be happy with. We spend the majority of our time at work earning a paycheck to pay for housing, cars and 'stuff' that we barely see or enjoy. I must change that. I will change that and SOON!

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

I am NOT an Exhibit at the Zoo...

I am not a party girl. There, I said it. Even in college after I earned my three Greek letters and two colors I would perform in numerous step shows but was often standing off the side while everyone else danced (and strolled) the night away. I have met a lot of people because I was off to myself laughing at my friends and watching the crowd.

I have tried being the 'social butterfly' but much prefer to be myself. The person who enjoys going out to dance. That does not include random surface level conversations or just small talk. The introvert in me hates it so imagine my surprise when the guy wanted to attend a small NYE house party of a salsa dancer he knew. 

We had agreed to stay home this year after the debacle of last year's party at a local hotel. It was so hilariously awful I refuse to rehash the details. Like I said, my inner 'homey chick' was digging the stay inside and lounge while watching the countdown on New Year's Rockin' Eve. The guy on the other hand agreed to attend the house party. 

I vaguely know the couple from salsa dancing in the area but the guy knows them better. I threw on some jeans, a nice sweater and a pair of flats. Because any woman reading this knows there is always the possibility of standing around at a house party and I refuse to stand around in heels wishing I had worn flats.

We arrived after 11pm and the guy opens the door and head to the kitchen area to stash the adult beverages we brought along with us and every eye in the room looked me up and down. At first I thought it was my imagination but soon realized it was not. 

Maybe it was my big curly afro (which was bigger than normal because I was off work for a while)? 

Maybe it was the fact that I wore jeans? 

Maybe it was the fact that the guy resembles an actor and I did not look anything like that well-known actor's well-known girlfriend?

Or just maybe it was the fact that I the ONLY woman in the room (minus the hostess) not dressed in 5 inch heels, an itty bitty dress and a head full of weave?

Maybe it was all of the above?

I grabbed a seat at the end of the room while the guy socialized with the host and every man in the room made it a point to walk by me and stare at me as they walked by. It became a game to me as I made small talk with the very nice lady sitting next to me. Each man would slow down slightly to stare before returning to his designated staked out space in the room. It would not have been so bad but I was not sitting in the area where the foot traffic flowed. It was actually more convenient for them to walk the other way. I had not experienced anything like that in a very long time. I know I live in the land of buy it, stick it, glue it and/or braid it in but I have been in this natural hair game for a very long time. Almost 17 years. I am comfortable with who I am and I do not need to flaunt it with the bottom of my cheeks hanging out a dress or heels so high I have to walk with bent knees. 

Part of me was proud for being comfortable with who I am and what I like and the other part of me was upset because I was clearly being put on display. I could not do anything but shake my head at this experience as it reminds me why I became comfortable in my skin. Why I try to be myself in any situation. I refuse to have other people dictate what I am supposed to look like while they look uncomfortable.

What did the guy say? He laughed and said "I told you! It is hard to find a black woman who does not fit the stereotype." 

After this party I guess I have to agree. It must be a little harder for men than I realize.