Birthday Reflections 2014

I am staring at my keyboard, making myself type. I have no clue where to begin...

I am....grateful...for the many people that have crossed my life's path and have enriched me with wonderful memories, opportunities and strength along the way.

I am...sad...for the many friends I have lost in the last few years who are no longer here with me. That makes me selfish and I can own that emotion because there is love for those friends that I never knew could exist on a platonic level. It is not easy to allow people access to your heart to set up shop and change you for the better.

I am...dealing with the why/how/no mores of disappointments that could have been avoided. I can only say that God must have one WICKED sense of humor and is setting me up for something big. These last few weeks have been difficult and I am not ashamed to admit they almost broke me.

I am...thankful that I was pushed into online dating by a friend. I have shared a few stories here but what I have kept is that I met someone who reminded me that "long-term" is possible with the right person. There will be no details and there is no relationship...for now. For the first time in a very long time I could see myself having a possible future with someone. That feeling has not been with me since...I honestly can not remember when. I was brave and I put myself out there. I was scared as I did not want to be seen as desperate, thirsty, (input whatever "hip" adjective is being used at the moment here) etc, but I wanted him to know that I genuinely liked him. Him as a person, someone I enjoyed laughing with and spending time with and getting to know. Whatever is meant to be with time...will be. But at least I put myself out there, as vulnerable and honest as I could and I believe he did the same. For that...I will ALWAYS be thankful. My experience with him has changed me and my views on relationships. THAT is/was not easy to do with me.

Today, as I reflect on the many things that I am....the one thing I know is that I am still growing and I am still walking my life's journey. As I receive the usual texts, social media posts and receive unexpected phone calls from my new family in Cuba, I laugh as the people at the coffee shop stare at me trying to figure out "what" I am as we have a very Spanglish conversation that includes kiss your mother and tell her I miss her and I hope to see you soon.

The one thing I know that I am....

...I am NOT done.


Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Birthday Reflections 2013

Where does the time go? I have a habit of taking care of everyone except myself and this year is no different. I found myself in a bit of a situation on my birthday. It was one of the worst days ever! Thank God it is over. I spent the day dealing with a dying car, tow trucks, arguments and disagreements. Not what a celebration of another year of life should be. All of which is making me withdraw, sit back and reflect on my part in it all. Time to make changes, make an assessment of what, where and how and keep living life. Happier..

I am researching cars now to replace my slowly dying 14 year old ride. When did cars become so expensive?!? Even the entry level models are more expensive than I expected. I am not the type to go out and get a luxury brand just to show people my 'status' or lifestyle. I want a car that will last, with little to no repair costs and a reasonable price tag. I have been searching for a few days. My luck is not so good as of right now. Hoping my car will last until I find that great deal I am looking for. Meanwhile every trip is started and ended with a prayer and a "thank you Jesus!"

I have a new job and a new career path. I took a lateral move from the only career I have ever had to hopefully make a better move for myself. It has been about three months now and I feel like a teenager. There is so much to learn and man, people will try their best to run over you in this position. I am standing my ground and holding my own now but at first...well, things were more than a little hairy. I would come home every day thinking I might not have made the best move. I will feel even better after a promotion. That should come within the next 6 months after my training period is complete.

I hope all is well with you blog fam. As for me...things will get better. There is always peace after the storm. In fact, some of the most peaceful moments come after violent storms.


Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Birthday/End of Year Reflections 2012

I missed my birthday reflections this year. There was/is so much going on that I have to deal with. I am still in the middle of much needed soul searching. I have been told that I can see flaws in anything and I can tell you 1,001 ways how something will go. That may be great in my business life but in my personal life it causes me to be a introvert and take the safe way out. Taking the safe way is not always the best way.

There were a few deaths around my birthday that made the day very somber. I find myself looking back on my life and not liking where I am right now. I want so much more and can not seem to find a way through the muck to get my footing. I do not like where my life is right now career-wise so I must find a way to change it. I must find a way to make my life make sense to me again because right now, it does not. I am thankful for how far I have come but I feel I have so much more to do.

I did not have a party this year. I went to the beach for a much needed change of scenery and it was okay but I wish I could have stayed a lot longer. The beach is so calming for me. Maybe because it brings back good childhood memories? This beach photo is similar to one on my vision board. I think I did almost everything on my vision board this year so maybe I need to be more specific on my next vision board.

I have been asked if the photos from my weekend are my own. Yes, I took them with my old point and shoot Nikon. Maybe I should look into digital photography.

I am open to any resources the blog family may recommend on helping on the career path. I must make a move in 2013. I have wasted way too much time.


Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Birthday Reflections 2011

This year I am hitting my stride. I was hit hard with the mid-life 'where should I be in my life right now' and what I want to do with my life. The past year I had the honor of being involved in a variety of wonderful events and make great memories.

What I know now is that I have healed and learned a lot more than I think. I am not where I want to be but I am surely not where I used to be. My friends are going through some rough times and talking with them about their issues made me realize just how far I have come and how much chaos people are willing to put up with in their lives. It also made me question the amount of chaos I once lived with daily.

I am in a place where life is good. I am thankful for the distance I have traveled. As I continue on this journey it is alright with me to stand in my current place on this journey and thank my Creator for bringing me this far. It is alright for me to share the wisdom from a higher power with my friends (because I know it is not me talking sometimes). It is alright to be cautious and take my time when getting to know people.

It is alright to trust myself and say 'no' to allow time for me. It is alright to stand in my place, stand in my skin...

...and have everything be alright.





Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Birthday Reflections 2010...Part II

I did something a little different this year. My birthday weekend started out with my first event on Friday. We competed with three other events and the opening night of the Potter movie but we did well all things considered. The feedback has been mostly positive so far and the Sangria I whipped up the night before went really quickly! (The marinated apple slices from the white sangria were a big hit :) HA!

The REAL hit was the tres leches cake I picked up from the spanish bakery near the job. I was a little leery when they messed up my order but the replacement cake was fabulous! A line formed as I cut it and everyone wanted to know where I got it. It was delicious!





Friday was great. Plenty of dance floor space, great music and a happy crowd. I had to tell a few people who hit up the beverage dispensor that it was not filled with punch, LOL! It was a great night and a good party. Of course we went out to grab food after we closed which meant I crawled into my bed at a whopping 4 am. After being up for almost 24 hours I used Saturday to recoop. My body was mad at me! I could barely move. I slept most of the day and hardly ate but it was so worth it.

Sunday I finally met the man behind the cupcakes! Fellow blogger Darius, Mr. Everyday Cookin' himself, was visiting the area and I met the crew for brunch at a popular breakfast spot. He is a joy to be around and I am glad I got the chance to sit, talk and laugh with him. We had a celeb sighting and enjoyed the view of Mr. Weber made famous by the Fab Five as he enjoyed his food at the next table over. I do not have a photo of Mr. Weber (who looked great, BTW) but I do have a photo with Darius, check out the cupcakes ;-) LOL!





I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of well wishes and love. There are many more photos that I am keeping to myself :) I so enjoyed my weekend and thank you to everyone who came out to my kick-off event. That is one memory I will cherish for a lifetime. On to the holiday season ...


Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

My Birthday Reflections 2010

This year has been...great, good and horrible all in one neat little package. I have learned that love is not always what you expect and that tingling in the pit of your stomach is not love. I have learned that family will always be there for you even when you turn your back on them. I have learned that REAL friends pick you up when you fall, stand behind you to push you when you stop walking and encourage you along the way. I have learned that REAL friends cheer you on but also tell you when you're wrong.

This year, as I look back and reflect on the past 365 days, as I look back on the party I threw last year and the people who surrounded me to celebrate. I am thrilled that 99% of those people are still in my life. They are still cheering with me, performing with me and want the best for me. I have added new people to the circle and added new activities to my favorite things to do.

I now know to listen to my gut, that little voice that speaks to you louder than anyone else. I know to let go when that voice tells me to, I know to be still and be patient when I don't know what else to do. I know to follow that gut instinct when people try to convince me they know what's better for me than I do. And yes, I know who I am, know what I want and I will not compromise that.

I have learned so much this year. I am coming to terms with the fact that I may never be someone's mother but I plan to be one hell of an Aunt. I am coming to terms that I will travel and see the world even if it is with my cousin instead of a male partner. I am coming to terms with the fact I love jeans and sneakers more than I like dresses and heels. And I LOVE big curly hair more than I like straight, flat and sleek looks.

I am coming to to terms with the woman I am, the woman I was and the woman I am destined to be...

Yes, there was a wicked birthday party. Photos will be posted soon (well, the ones that are safe to post ;)

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

My Birthday Reflections 2009...Part II (with pics & video)

I have run out of adjectives to describe how great November 21, 2009 turned out to be. This post is an attempt to share with my blog family how wonderful this day was. It started out with a theater call at 10:30 that morning. The cast always gathers with a prayer on stage and this time we also had a "Happy Birthday" song to yours truly. I enjoyed every second of it.


Silliness at dress rehearsal on Thursday and Friday:


Broke in my new camera behind the scenes.
The percussionist I mentioned earlier:


After the show - Salsa band was entertaining the crowd:


The birthday cake and Salsa were fabulous:


We got in a few Ruedas (A Cuban style of Salsa):


Thanks to my friend I also have a short clip of Salsa dancing with one of my instructors. He kept me and another one of my Salsera sistergirls moving through a few songs :-)


For my first party it was absolutely beyond words. These are just a few snapshots of the fun had by all during the day. I have photos of genuine laughter and smiles that I will cherish for years to come. I thank God for the gift of choosing great friends and allowing me to attract wonderful people. My signature drink the "KC" purple Martini was a hit and yes, I had my fair share ;-)

As I woke up on Sunday morning to rush off to my friend's birthday brunch and spend time with my family who came from out of town I felt an unbelievable sense of love, accomplishment and pure joy. For all of those things, I will eternally be grateful...

Peace & Blessings...

My Birthday Reflections 2009

I try to sit back on every birthday and reflect on the year. Each year is monumental to me but this year I celebrate my birthday doing things I never thought I would do.

I start my birthday as a performer and entertainer. A desire I never thought I would actually get a chance to fulfill and here I am on the other side of 30 on stage and enjoying every minute with people I like to be around.

This year I am also celebrating by throwing myself a birthday party. This party is a first for me, so I am nervous and excited at once. But the plan is to enjoy each moment as it comes and dance my ass off. I have a hot new dress, new boots and new ballroom shoes to get my Salsa on!!! I plan to be dragged off the dance floor kicking and screaming ;-) After a 2 hour show and dancing at the party I'm not sure I'll be able to walk for a few days but I plan to have fun wearing out my legs.

This year I have found roots that help me keep my sanity in a world where you are destined to go insane. I have found different levels of love with friends and fam that make me appreciate who I am and the struggles that it took to get me there. I am finally comfortable in my own skin and I am told that it shows when I walk into a room.

This year I have built a solid foundation. This year I have worked on finding ME and I can finally see who she is, what she wants and what she needs. This year I have reclaimed myself, the woman I am and the woman I am destined to become. It has not been easy and it has not been without dissapointment, heartache, headache, sadness, loneliness and the occassional tears.

Now that I have my foundation and I have found myself, maybe next year true love will find me? Even if it doesn't....it has been one hell of a ride!!!

I have chosen to not sit it out and let the world pass me by. My choice is to participate. Hopefully, I will always choose to dance...





Peace & Blessings...

My Birthday Reflections 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

This year was particularly hard for me, but I made it.

I sit back and reflect on an extremely difficult year and realize that I am a lot stronger than I think I am. I have come through this year with a clearer vision and focus on the woman that I am and the one that I desire to be. Although painful, my struggles have not broken me and I have not allowed them to break my spirit.

I wonder with amazement about my future and ponder with excited anticipation about the many directions my life can take. Every day is a struggle not to dwell on the past but to live in the moment. Enjoy the now and continue to realize that I can handle what life throws my way.

Today I will celebrate overcoming my obstacles with the friends and allies I have gained along the way. The people who helped me to realize my potential, who pushed me when I needed it and helped me up when I fell. I thank each and every one of you.

I celebrate this day with you. Thank you!