Thursday, September 29, 2011

That's Just the Way It Is

"That's just the way it is"

These last few weeks have been rough. My father is fine. Thank you to everyone who sent me well wishes via blogger, twitter and FB. He returned to work and returned to being the father that I have known for most of my life. The one who is M.I.A. The one who does not return phone calls or text messages.

Deep down I wanted our relationship to be different. At this point in my life I am not sure I could have looked at him as a 'Father' but I needed him to be a friend, to be in my life or at least act like he gives a damn! It is more than astonishing to me how any person can go from confessing how much they care for you, hold endless conversations with you for days then go back to their life without you...without a second thought.

By day three when my messages went unanswered I became worried and afraid. Surely if something was wrong someone would have called me, right? I contacted my oldest sister and she assured me he was fine and that is when I became angry. I was hurt and was heartbroken for days. I did not want to talk about it with anyone but I realized that once again I had allowed this man to crush me.

I gathered myself up, realized he is who he is and put those feelings away. They now live back on the shelf where they took up residence before he got sick.

"That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is"

Work is I am here, I have a job, it pays the bills. I am looking for my passion. That thing that will make me get up in the morning and allow me to look forward to my day. Often I wonder if it exists or if it is wishful thinking.

My events company is holding its biggest event this weekend. I am nervous and excited about it. Three days and nights of non-stop dancing and I am going to soak up every bit of it! Of course there will be photos and maybe a little video. I am not sure yet.

Well, that is about it for now. Well...there is someone in my life. He has been around for a while but I have kept him 'close to the chest' so to speak. He is a good guy with a good heart and that means so much to me right now. Because this last line is the part I'm having issues with.

"That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them"

Yeah, I dug into the vault for this one. I was wondering through the mall last week (I loathe shopping) and found myself singing along. How many of you remember this one? I love Phil Collins but his rendition can't touch this version.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Monday, September 19, 2011

Diggin' Raul Midon

I wrote this about a year ago and I am not really sure why I never took it out of draft mode. I still love this song. Enjoy the music while I try to figure out how I want to approach my next post. Although the majority of the music I post lately is of the Latin variety I do still enjoy other genres. Don't worry there are more Latin artists in my drafts :-)

On a lazy Sunday morning I was watching one of the high numbered video channels and they were featuring artists from around the world. I love artists who may not be topping the charts but still have the passion for their craft. It is something that comes across in their music, a certain something you see as they perform.

Raul Midon's video played while I was doing some work on my laptop and it caught me enough to make me stop working and watch the video. His passion in that video is something I very rarely see anymore. He will be added to my Quiet Storm playlist. Hopefully, you will be curious enough to see for yourself and maybe download a few songs for your playlist?

Of course I had to include the video that captivated me. His explanation of the song in the beginning...well, see for yourself ;-)

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Phone Call that Changed Everything

I'm sure this will be pretty random but here goes...

One phone call changed my life. For the better I guess, but it was an ordeal. My sister called me the middle of last week and said my father had been rushed to the hospital and all she could understand from his wife was "he is not responding to the antibiotics."

Not responding? Antibiotics?

My relationship with my father is strained at best. He has not been in my life on a regular basis since I was a pre-teen and even before then he was always working and I rarely saw him.

Later that night I found out he was in surgical ICU and was unresponsive.

ICU? Surgical ICU? Unresponsive?

Considering my car is 12 years old and it was holiday weekend, I was stuck in another state some five hours away as I waited by the phone for updates. Plane tickets were over $1,000 and try finding a rental car the day before a holiday weekend. Yeah, good luck with that.

To really add stress my cousins were riding down to Florida for the weekend on Friday but told me there was not room in their car. Yeah...I took THAT with a grain of salt. Such is life.

My sister (who is one year younger) kept me updated because my father's wife did not have the decency to call his first-born to give me any updates throughout this entire ordeal. I have no words for her right now and will probably have no words for some quite some time.

Long story short they found the source of his infection and he regained consciousness around day three. Yes, I sat by the phone for THREE DAYS waiting. His fever spiked around 104 but it also came down after day three. He was released from the hospital after a five day stay and made it home for the Holiday.

The good from this situation?

My father and I are talking again.

I spoke to him everyday while he was in the hospital. I think we talked more this past weekend than we have in life. Now that things are getting back to normal for him, maybe that new found relationship will stay that way? Near death experiences have a way of changing people.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...