Sunday, November 23, 2014

Birthday Reflections 2014

I am staring at my keyboard, making myself type. I have no clue where to begin...

I am....grateful...for the many people that have crossed my life's path and have enriched me with wonderful memories, opportunities and strength along the way.

I am...sad...for the many friends I have lost in the last few years who are no longer here with me. That makes me selfish and I can own that emotion because there is love for those friends that I never knew could exist on a platonic level. It is not easy to allow people access to your heart to set up shop and change you for the better.

I am...dealing with the why/how/no mores of disappointments that could have been avoided. I can only say that God must have one WICKED sense of humor and is setting me up for something big. These last few weeks have been difficult and I am not ashamed to admit they almost broke me.

I am...thankful that I was pushed into online dating by a friend. I have shared a few stories here but what I have kept is that I met someone who reminded me that "long-term" is possible with the right person. There will be no details and there is no relationship...for now. For the first time in a very long time I could see myself having a possible future with someone. That feeling has not been with me since...I honestly can not remember when. I was brave and I put myself out there. I was scared as I did not want to be seen as desperate, thirsty, (input whatever "hip" adjective is being used at the moment here) etc, but I wanted him to know that I genuinely liked him. Him as a person, someone I enjoyed laughing with and spending time with and getting to know. Whatever is meant to be with time...will be. But at least I put myself out there, as vulnerable and honest as I could and I believe he did the same. For that...I will ALWAYS be thankful. My experience with him has changed me and my views on relationships. THAT is/was not easy to do with me.

Today, as I reflect on the many things that I am....the one thing I know is that I am still growing and I am still walking my life's journey. As I receive the usual texts, social media posts and receive unexpected phone calls from my new family in Cuba, I laugh as the people at the coffee shop stare at me trying to figure out "what" I am as we have a very Spanglish conversation that includes kiss your mother and tell her I miss her and I hope to see you soon.

The one thing I know that I am....

...I am NOT done.

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...


  1. Yes! we are indeed on the parallel paths. I think we have been from the beginning. my foray into inline dating was I have taken a very necessary break. However I am still very open to inviting more love and light in.

    Happy Thanksgiving! I am cheering you on your journey!

    1. At this moment I'm taking a break from the online dating thing as well. I know this adventure was about meeting him and after that experience...I'm not interested in the games being played nor the pretenses shown by many. I'm cheering for you as well. We will meet in 2015 and share a bottle of good wine! I'm claiming it :)

  2. I am.... Proud of, and thankful for you. Even though I am with my life's love, I do remember and heartily understand disappointment. Fear. Dejection. Indifference.

    I see it, work with it daily in my practice.

    So, I am... Hopeful, and prayerful for u.
    And, I will.... Continue cheering u in.

    Be well :)