Friday, July 31, 2009

Only Two Years...What Would You Do?

"You just happened to happen to me."

Two people on two separate occasions told me this. They quoted each other word for word. God has a wicked sense of humor.

One of them I met a little while ago while Salsa dancing and there was an instant ease between us that made me not think twice about giving him my number or hanging out with him and his friends. We started to hang out every few days and continue to meet at the local spots to dance.

We met for dancing, dinner and movies. There were walks through the park and great conversation. No pressure for romance, no pressure to make anything out of it. We agreed to just let whatever happens happen. I was enjoying it and thinking about the possibilities when we had a conversation that started like this:

"I need to tell you something. But it will change our relationship forever."

The creative mind in me instantly thought of everything. Marriage, drugs, lifestyle, etc. I could never fathom that the person who was quickly becoming my friend and maybe something else was dying.

"I have stage IV terminal cancer."

Nothing could have prepared me for that. Terminal? Two years? WTH?!?!?!

He was right. It did permanently change us. I am a lot of things and loyal to a fault is one of them. Having an extremely large heart and being a nurturer is another. I wonder what could of been...might have been...what could possibly be. Forming a relationship with someone who is terminally ill is like walking under a guillotine and waiting for it to fall.

One year. According to his doctor's schedule he has one year left. Is it fair to withdraw from someone over something that is beyond their control? Is it fair to get involved with someone when you know the outcome is not favorable? It was not a choice, no one chooses to die in their 30s. No one chooses to die with a 4 year old daughter who is too young to remember them.

Imagine...what would you feel if someone told you they wanted to spend their last year alive getting to know you better? I can't help but wonder what my lesson is in this. Something has to come out of this experience.

What would YOU do?

Peace & Blessings...


  1. Just made me teary because i wouldn't know what to do. I think the biggest thing is just be there for them and relish the good times. Geez, I am so sorry to hear this.

  2. My heart goes out to your friend and to you.

    What would I do?

    There's living to be done & moments to be shared. There's not a moment to be wasted with foolishness or triviality. You are loyal & you're a nurturer. God has blessed you with these talents to share - I know you will. It's not going to be easy. Sometimes you will get frustrated & downtrodden but there will be provision and replenishment.

    You wondered not too long ago about having a child of your own & your friend has a 4 year-old daughter...

    You have been blessed with an opportunity to bring laughter & smiles, optimism and positivity to your friend. If/when the time comes, you will be a comforter to his daughter.

    Nothing happens by coincidence. Everything is designed and ordered.

    (((Hugs to you and your friend)))

  3. Hey Kay C... I have tagged you or rather awarded you with the Honest Scrap Award.

  4. I would get to know him! I would spend time. In getting to know him you may find our more about you.

    He is not dead and who's to say he will die in a year? God sends us what is needed. YOu need him and he needs you.

    Sometimes the lesson is in the being with someone not because you have pity, or sympathy but becasue he makes you a better you!

    Something in his spirit speaks to your spirit. Accept the gift and live with joy.


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