Thursday, September 12, 2013

Real Love

“I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, 
can't-live-without-each-other love.” - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

I love that quote. It describes that "love" that everyone seems to chase with reckless abandon. When you get older, you realize that life is not a fairy tale written by emmy winning television writers in a room on a movie production lot.

For a long time I did not know any happily married couples. Everyone I knew was either divorced, fighting an ugly custody battle over children or bashing their significant other to anyone who would listen. It is hard to keep a positive outlook when everyone is so negative. 

Then I met a couple who have been married for 30 years, all the children belong biologically to both of them and they are still happy. It made me feel good. After a little while I met another couple that was truly happy with each other, then another and slowly my faith started to return.

Then I started to look at myself and my own relationship. The quest for real love is something else. I am not searching for it but it would nice if it found me. Eventually, when I am really ready to receive it. 

The Mary J song was just in my head. It felt a little appropriate given the circumstances:

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings from  


  1. I think it's hard to talk about the term "real love" without thinking about that Mary J Blige song. I think you're right though... true love is only available when someone is ready to accept it. Many people think they know what that means but they really don't. I remember looking at a few successful married couples and the things they did to keep their marriage strong. 90% of the time, "love" was usually the 5th or 6th thing down on the list. Love is obvious, but nothing to build a marriage on. Marriage has so much more to do with economics, compromise, and the meshing of personalities than love.

    I remember a line from a movie that went, "Every idiot in the world says they love somebody. But it's the things you do with that love that actually mean something." So true...

    1. Yes, people think love is the cure all but so much more comes with that choice that most people just do not understand.

  2. @rodger dodger - wow, this is so close to what i wanted to say. i've been married for 23 years now, with once child after 3 pregnancies. we've been through, still going through quite a bit. and so far we have survived. we're still young, in our late 40's, and it's been hard. yes, for us, love is way down on the list. for may couples i know who've managed to stay together and be happy for 15 years and better, its further down the list.

    most importantly, you must know what love truly is, and then be ready to receive it. not everyone in 'loveships' understands that. and there lies the struggle. it's a struggle for hubby and i. after all these years of being married, he still struggles with receiving love. and i'm ok with that because there are so many other things higher up on the list that matter much more. yet, i know that those things are because of love....funny.

    1. 23 years?!? I bow to you. Congrats! Making a good choice for a spouse/life partner is important. You made a better choice than I, LOL!