Growing Roots

I have learned so much about myself in the last 2 years since I started this blog. The most important thing to me right now is I have been in my home for an entire year. I am not waiting on that dreadful letter to be taped to my front door telling me my rent will increase by X amount of dollars. Nor am I dreading the move to another location because I have awful neighbors.

This year I have become part of a community. I can walk the furbaby and talk with my neighbors. I can paint my walls, plant that much anticipated rose garden and try my green thumb at growing Calla Lilies. I can replace the flooring and decorate without worrying about losing my deposit.

What I am trying to say is that I finally have roots. I am stable in this place and time and it is a very different feeling for me. It grounds me in a way that I have never known. I look forward to coming home and have a few favorite spots around the house that makes me kick back and forget the world.

I have reconnected with family and friends as well as found comfort in myself again. I can see it in the pictures I take, my hair is shinier, my skin is brighter and life just seems better. I am attracting people who should be around me and I can sense when I need to politely keep them at bay. I am comfortable with my feelings, my shortcomings and learning that not each day will be sunshine but each day will bring growth.

Can you pick me out in the diva heels?

I know that not every relationship will last forever but that I should enjoy it while it does and try to be as happy as I can for as long as I can. I have learned that each experience shapes you, each relationship makes you grow and if you are lucky love finds you along the way.

I am growing roots and it feels great...


Peace & Blessings...

Learning the Lesson

I need more positive thoughts and positive people in my life. In college, after a horrific year with the death of a few close friends and the cancer diagnosis of my Grandmother, I took a long look at my life. Then I started to fix it.

I removed people from my life who were draining me, the people who make you physically tired after a phone conversation. We all know them, the people who can walk into a room and suck the life right out of it. Yes, we know them well but we continue to keep them around anyway.

Fast forward more than a decade and I find myself staring into the mirror once again. This time it is different. I stare into the mirror as a woman who knows who she is and what she can and can not tolerate. A woman who knows what she enjoys and what she is not willing to compromise.

My happiness and self-assurance has come with a price. Although I am still young, it has taken me far too long to get here, but I will wallow in a great feeling so many people do not know.

I am healed from the wounds of the past decade and I am excited about my next steps in life. The possibilities and choices that I have are endless. After a great weekend of hanging with some really cool people from my Blue and White fam, I can say with confidence I am ready for the next step and starting to have a great time.

Thanks to a couple of Frat who are cool peeps in my book. Let's start with Frat who gave me the great stepping lesson Chicago-style, Frat who danced with everyone and got silly with us without worrying about the blackmail pictures that I am sure will show up on the Web, Frat and Sorors who did the New Edition dances with us on If It Isn't Love (love you for that :) and for the great laughs as I enjoyed the time with old friends and met new people.

I can now start my Love List with a bang but this post is about burying old habits and leaving the hurt and pain behind while learning the lesson. Finally, I am in love with me and it sure feels good.

Yes, I will continue to concentrate on learning the lesson.

Peace...Be Still

After a very emotional week, I received this simple title to an email and it made me sit back and take note of my life in its current state.

Last week two of my friends and sorority sisters (one of them my line sister) were dealt the blow of the death of their mothers and one of my uncles was admitted to the hospital. The death of a mother is something I believe no one can comfort you through. You grieve in your own time, and in your own way. Friends and family members can only listen and try to be there for you.

My uncle had to practically be threatened to go to the hospital were he found out his blood sugar level was 400. (BTW, your blood sugar level should only be 70-80)I have 5 uncles on my mother's side and each of them are special to me in their own way. This uncle however, is special because our personalities are very similar.

We are both loners to a certain point. At family gatherings it is not unusual to find us both in my aunt's den watching a game on the big screen while the rest of the family is chatting away (rather loudly) in other rooms. Although we do mix and mingle (and join in the noise level at times) we take our mingling in short doses ;-) In short, we understand each other.

His hospitalization shook me.

It made me look at my life and were I am in relative to were I want to be. I am starting over in almost every sense of the word. And to be honest, most of it frightens me. Even though I have "more options than I can shake a stick at" it still makes me wonder if I am staying on the path GOD has placed for me. Or, if I am so wrapped up in what I want that I am trying to create my own path?

Either way, I am fighting to keep that joy and peace of mind that I found earlier this year. No one can say it much better than this:

'Cause if I thought you were the end all
and my be all
I would've never left you alone
and I wouldn't be on my own
and I never, never would've grown

no, no, no ain't no way
you gone take away
My joy, and my peace, and my strength


Sing it Ms. Leela James.
Enjoy! (I know I did)

Books, Heat and Drums

I decided to lighten the mood of this blog and post something upbeat and happy. It was bright and hot outside this weekend and I decided to venture out before dance practice to give one of my line sisters some support.

The book signing was held downtown and I forgot how much it costs to park, but it was good to get out and walk around. I had not been a pedestrian in the downtown area since college some 10+ years ago and the landscape has changed drastically. I loved seeing the families and couples of all colors walking around to various locals enjoying the hot summer weather.

And to top it off, I got a chance to support my line sister and buy a copy of her book (which was edited by another LS of ours, gotta love networking :). So, if you get a chance to stop by your nearest bookstore or library make sure to pick up a copy. She’s a good writer.

After dance practice I attended a West African Drum Show. One of the drummers is a part of my performance group so a few dancers went to the show. They had a guest master drummer that gave me a few Azucar Negra moments. It was a fun outing for Saturday night, nothing like seeing people get up and move to live drum beats.

Hmmm…we should go to another performance when we are not tired from dance practice. I bet we could wear that dance floor out! (Not that we didn’t give it a good shot this time :-)

Peace and Blessings,

I Love My Blue and White

I volunteered to help with a Community Service project that has me dusting off my stepping shoes. "When Zeta calls..." (my sorors know the rest).

I was going through some old step show tapes and my DP (Solitaire) showed me this from Youtube. There will always be a special love for Georgia State University. My first blue and white home was with the "Lovely" Lambda Nu and "Phonky" Pi Alpha Chapters. I hope they don't mind this posting. It's all about Blue Love.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this video of Pi Alpha and I know you will as well.