The holiday season is upon us once again. I love the holidays. I absolutely adore this time of year. There is something about it that makes people a little nicer, a little more hectic but people seem to melt just a little from the normal routine and day to day lifestyle.
My family is a sucker for the holidays. We always try to get together and just enjoy each other's company. The food flows, the drinks and adult beverages flow and so do the laughs, stories and memories. I am wishing all of you a very happy holidays. As we try to relax, travel to see family or simply stay home be safe, happy and have a great holiday season!
I'll leave you with a compilation of some of my favorite holiday songs. Some are classics, some are new (in the grand scheme of things) and some are down right silly but they all make me feel great. They make me remember that the one thing I will cherish is my memories with my loved ones.
I have come across many....interesting....situations since I have become a social salsa dancer. Salsa dancing allows me to meet people from many different walks of life that I may not have met in my regular routine. One situation that is really common in salsa dancing is people trying to make themselves more marketable to other sex. By any means necessary.
This goes beyond the men in three piece suits sweating likes hogs to look good and portray they have money and it goes beyond the women squeezing themselves into painted on dresses with their cottage cheese hanging out and ankles screaming from the 6 inch heels while trying to dance.
But hiding the fact that you have a child or children? Let that sink in for a moment.
I mean people are only posting photos of themselves in suggestive poses or photos with their 'peeps' while hanging out. Never a "Happy Birthday" post to the child or a mention that they are someone's parent. I am referring to people finding out their salsa friends are parents like 5 yearsafter knowing them. Why? Apparently it makes them more 'marketable' to the dating pool. Yes, I have actually heard someone say that. I have overheard people saying "XYZ has a child but doesn't want anyone to know." It makes them more marketable.
My question is does denying or hiding a child really make that person more marketable? I know my views on many relationship issues appear to be old-fashioned but at what point do they reveal they have offspring and/or a mini-me at home? After they have tricked someone lied to someone and eventually get caught what are their reasons? Anyone who lies (that is what hiding children is, right?) about their own flesh and blood will lie about anything. How can you build any kind of relationship with someone who can keep that kind of thing a secret? Maybe it is because of my own upbringing but lying about children is the lowest of low (in my opinion) and you don't deserve to be anyone's parent!
By now I know many of you reading this think I am bashing men, right? Well, surprise!
Many, if not all, of the people I am referring to are WOMEN!
I missed my birthday reflections this year. There was/is so much going on that I have to deal with. I am still in the middle of much needed soul searching. I have been told that I can see flaws in anything and I can tell you 1,001 ways how something will go. That may be great in my business life but in my personal life it causes me to be a introvert and take the safe way out. Taking the safe way is not always the best way.
There were a few deaths around my birthday that made the day very somber. I find myself looking back on my life and not liking where I am right now. I want so much more and can not seem to find a way through the muck to get my footing. I do not like where my life is right now career-wise so I must find a way to change it. I must find a way to make my life make sense to me again because right now, it does not. I am thankful for how far I have come but I feel I have so much more to do.
I did not have a party this year. I went to the beach for a much needed change of scenery and it was okay but I wish I could have stayed a lot longer. The beach is so calming for me. Maybe because it brings back good childhood memories? This beach photo is similar to one on my vision board. I think I did almost everything on my vision board this year so maybe I need to be more specific on my next vision board.
I have been asked if the photos from my weekend are my own. Yes, I took them with my old point and shoot Nikon. Maybe I should look into digital photography.
I am open to any resources the blog family may recommend on helping on the career path. I must make a move in 2013. I have wasted way too much time.
I have decided (once again) that I will give only solicited advice and try my best (once again) to not get offended, become upset or get annoyed when the person asked for said advice does not follow it. I have lost count on the number of times I have listened to the same conversation from friends who are in the same situation but refuse to do anything different. What is the definition of insanity again?
I applied for the job. The one I mentioned before which was a lateral move in pay but demotion in benefits. Why? to challenge myself and broaden my skill set. I made up my mind that the new position would make it much easier in the future to make more money and find another job (if need be) while increasing my quality of life. What happened? I interviewed well with the HR Director and staff only to find out the position is no longer available. The lady who currently holds it can not retire right now due to changes in policy and I (once again) was the front-runner by far but (once again) am still in my current position. I am stuck (once again) working evenings, weekends and holidays at will!
I don't know if it was being so close to having a new job or the current position itself but KayC is in a funk. I could easily call out each day this week and stay home and do absolutely nothing. I have some time during the Thanksgiving holiday but (once again) I find myself in a budgeting crunch and refusing to over spend.
On a more positive note....I have 2 credit cards left with balances and I see the light at the end of the tunnel with finally ridding myself of the marital debt I inherited through the divorce. I will be so elated to pay off the final card and will not ever get into more credit card debt. If you want a life with me, all bank statements, credit reports and background checks must be presented! You think that's wrong? Then cohabitate forever but once you enter into a legally binding contract (which is what a marriage license is, after all you do file it at the court house people!) all of your debt becomes OUR debt. Been there, done that and I will NOT do that once again!
I am re-evaluating my life right now. I was asked a simple question and I need to take some time to find my answer. The question was "Do you get more fulfillment and enjoyment at the end of the day from things or emotions?" It was asked by the HR Director when we discussed me finding my career path at my job.
First, I am glad that she is talking to me about my career path because I have struggled with that for some time. My job is one that is always on the chopping block first when budget cuts are made. My position has been safe so far and I have been at my current job for more than a few years, longer than other job in the past but there is always the thought in the back of the mind of being expendable.
I have the opportunity to train in an area that in never expendable but that requires giving up my vacation time. In fact, thanks to new policies I will lose my vacation time and not accrue any more if I leave my current position for any other position in this company. Yeah, that sucks but I need to grow and begin to live life again.
This is a lateral move, if I move at all right now. A lateral move to put myself in a position to move up in the next year or so. That is something I can not do in my current position. I am hidden here. I work behind the scenes and that is fine with me. I cultivate relationships with co-workers and vendors so when I need something 'yesterday' I can pick up a phone and they are glad to make it happen. It is a great feeling to have vendors who genuinely smile when you walk through their door. I am proud of myself for that.
But as I near another birthday and another phase of life I realize there are changes to be made and I need to think about me first. Some decisions are never simple...
I know I have been MIA from blogland and so have my blog peeps from the look of my blog feed and the links to the right of the screen. Life stops for no one, least of all me. So, let's get random...
I can not remember the last time I have been in a relationship that lasted this long. Things are...growing. Bumps in the road are inevitable but I find myself being the person who guides and patiently waits for the light bulb moment. I like the ability to broaden a person's horizons but I remember that 'even a Counselor needs a Counselor sometimes.'
I still dance on occasion but it nothing like I used to. I have danced less than 10 times all year and that includes performances. What is wrong with me? Drama has taken my safe haven, my hardwood therapy and it makes it difficult for me to enjoy it anymore. Fortunately the drama was not a result of anything I've done or a reaction of any of my actions but still the backlash has ended up directly effecting me. Funny how people can do dirt, get mad when they get caught and then project it onto you like you are in the wrong. It...simply...amazes...me. Just when I thought people could not surprise me anymore, they show me how low mankind can stoop and still think they are fabulous creatures and the best thing to bless man since sliced bread.
One of my friends used me to get ahead at work. I am happy she got the raise and change in job title. What I am not thrilled about it how every day she was in my office complaining, asking for advice when I had to hear through the grapevine that she received her new position after I didn't see her for over a week. Then she acted ungrateful with the new three level higher pay grade. Some people are never happy. I knew she was a user, which is why I stopped hanging with her outside of work hours. One of these days I will learn to stop allowing people to use me.
Ah yes, drama is all around me. I guess that means I am doing something right? Who knows....what's going on with you blog peeps?
Time flies and I can not believe that months have past since I posted here.
The relationships I am around right now have me questioning how we pick our significant others. Some people are givers and some people are takers by nature. There are those who want to control and those who want to please. It should balance out right? Not exactly.
Sometimes takers will take until they suck the life out of the people around them. People who are natural givers will give their all. They will give until they have nothing left for themselves. At what point does the push and pull balance out to meet in the middle?
Is there ever a point when the taker learns to give? Or do they simply use everyone around them until they use them up?
Why is it that two givers can not find each other? I know two takers would never find a balance but it would be nice to see two people catering to each other.
It is a somber day at work today. One of my co-workers died and his services will take place today. Watching the mass exidos out the building with people dressed in black to attend. I can't go. I would like to remember him how he is my mind now, not in a casket. The world has lost a good man and they are not easy to find in today's society.
I picked up every piece of trash in the road yesterday. A plastic bag stuck to the car on my way to work and a long piece of plastic wrap wrapped around my car on the interstate on the way home. I could not see a thing and the emergency lane was full of blown tire bits. Thank God for keeping me calm and the people around me from running me off the road.
I am debating on facing a demon this evening but I am not sure I have the strength or ability to keep a level-head to do it yet. So I might avoid it. It will happen eventually. I can not avoid it forever although I wish I could.
As you can see it has been a very emotional week. I am stronger now but sometimes...I just need a break.
Since the Vision Board Party I am motivated to cross off every item on that board. I am not sure if that is how this whole vision board thing works but that is how it is working with me.
I crossed off the San Francisco bridge in February and did not think I would be able to cross off much more anytime soon. One of the few perks of my job is the time off and Theo agreed to take some time off as well. During our time together we stopped at a local winery spontaneously (which he is not a fan of but he obliged) to see what the hype was about.
It is not a huge winery but they host tours and tastings every day which last a little less than 2 hours. They are very reasonably priced tours and I am glad I did not go with the group in San Fran when they spent almost $200 on their tour. Sonoma Valley and Napa Valley are still on my bucket list but $200 for a half day tour is a bit ridiculous in my opinion. But I digress back to the here and now...
The entrance of the winery...
We were not sure what to expect but it was a nice outing. The grounds were beautiful and I understand why they host nine weddings a weekend during peek season. It is just far away from the city to give you a vacation feel but close enough to not feel the dread of a car trip. I was very happy when I saw this view and remembered the photo I added to my vision board.
We learned a lot about wine and the wine making process during the tour but of course everyone wanted to get to the 'tasting' part which really made me understand why I like certain wines. The wine starting to flow and so did the conversation between the small groups of people who attended, LOL!
Theo is not a wine guy but we did agree on one that we both liked and will add to the regular spirits list. I so enjoyed our time there and they offer custom wine labels.
The rest of my week was good as well. Theo visited family while I did the annual Easter dinner with the cousins. I am convinced my cousin was trying to feed the entire neighborhood as there was enough food for them on her table! It had been a while since I enjoyed a Sunday dinner with them and not much has changed at all. The only sign of time passing is the age of the little ones, or maybe I should say not so little ones. We need new babies in this family before the annual Easter egg hunt becomes an adult event.
The week was not all warm fuzzies and kisses but it was much needed. More memories and more good times. Just what I needed when I needed it.
Sometimes, I really wonder what this thing called LIFE is really about. What is the lesson we should learn from all this?
It feels really good to cross off something from your bucket list. After I crossed off getting my photo taken in front of the San Francisco bridge I looked at my list for the next reasonable thing to cross off the list. I am not sure what my next adventure will be but it felt good to make my list shorter.
Someone posted on the social sites "the first African-American to win a supporting acting role was Haddie McDaniel for playing a Mammie. Last night Octavia Butler won for playing the same role." Interesting how we assign race, class and culture to everything. Is it too much to simply appreciate an African-American woman who demonstrated superior acting skills in a period piece? I'm not taking sides, simply suggesting another view.
At the biggest Cuban Salsa festival in the world I only danced a few times. I adore dancing more than many things in my life. Maybe I need a break? Maybe I need a muse? Whatever it is, right now my hunger and thirst for dance is low.
I watched this clip on youtube and was excited to find this guy in San Fran. I had one helluva dance with him. My group had not performed yet and he did not know I could dance. He held back until he figured out I could hold my own and then...well....THAT man has moves....
Yes, I said 'found him' and asked HIM to dance! I had to get him early before his line formed, LOL! Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!
I am overdue for a trip home. My baby sister is graduating this year. I will try my best to make it to her graduation. My father did not make either of my graduations but I want to be there to see her and my baby brother graduate.
One my fellas asked me if everything was okay after he saw my chat status. I told him everything was okay, just dealing with some things I thought I conquered from the past marriage. He then asked "you still dealing with that stuff?" After I took a breath I had to assure him that after a decade of being with someone, YES, you can still deal with some 'issues' 3 years later. I then had to realize his longest relationship was about a year. Perspective is everything...sometimes.
I am bored. I have stopped writing, journaling, blogging, dancing, etc. Every so often I get into my funks and I have to find my way out. While I have no desire to dance I crave the dance floor. My creative side feels stagnant. Maybe I should take a class? A crochet class, maybe? A jewelery class? Maybe I need to dig through my jewelry fixings and make something beautiful?
Last year I had a horrific trip to San Francisco with my Salsa performance group. After that trip and catching the west coast crud I was less than enthused about returning to the west coast this year for the annual salsa festival. I agreed when we promised to make a list of 'things to do' and tackle a few everyday.
This trip was much, much better! The weather was good, the dancing was good and the bands were awesome! We arrived on Thursday morning (west coast time) and had time to grab lunch/dinner at Daddy O's, a soul food restaurant close to the hotel. A few of us had fried chicken and waffles but me, I tried to stay close to my Shut Up and Train routine and went with their version of Okra and Tomato. I was leery when I read it had potato, corn and a few other veggies but man, was it good! Demolished that and sat there like a gluttonous tick! Great way to start a trip.
After I dived in...YUM!
We rounded out our first day with a trip to one of the spots on the Beer Week tour. The Noc Noc bar was very eclectic and had great beer. We loved our visit until the smell of medicinal (or we think it was medicinal) weed made us flee, LOL!
A shot of the funky chairs at the bar.
After a brief encounter with the transit authority and almost each receiving a $100 fine, we continued our trip the next day with unlimited 3 day transit passes. After we remembered SF has Scout Mob, we scored a great breakfast for 50% a person and then continued on our way to Fisherman's Wharf and the infamous SF bridge! Yep! I can cross off my bucket list having my photo taken in front of the SF bridge. I was a happy camper after that and the sun was still shining.
That night (we were exhausted) but had a fantastic performance. The next day we heard from the director of the band who sings the song (awesomeness) and said what great things he heard about us. This is the song we performed to...great band and great people :-)
Followed that with another great breakfast and more touring the city. We hit up one of the 'best things I ever ate' Dynamo Donuts and learned the maple bacon donuts really are THAT good. I don't get down with the swine but that sticky bun is worth it's weight in gold.
When the lady at the register found out we were visiting and in town for a salsa festival she offered to give us free donuts if we danced. Did we take the offer? ABSOLUTELY!!! We danced for free donuts! The customers loved it and we have the video courtesy of one of the bakers. Our reward was another box of great gourmet donuts. Let me tell you, Sublime Donuts here ain't got NOTHING on Dynamo!!! They even gave us their made only twice a year breakfast donut. Made with cheese, bits of bacon and has an egg inside that runs when you break it open. Shaking my head at the memory.
That day we trekked through more of the city and took in the neighborhoods as they have more mom and pop shops and very little (if any) major restaurant chains. We stopped in the belly dance studio Fat Chance and one of my fellow dancers met her belly dance guru. Of course we also had to stop in next door since it was a Salsa studio and was elated as they practically screamed our group's name as we walked up the stairs! Telling us what a fabulous job we did and how much they loved our performance from the night before. *cheesy grin*
We ended that night at 21st-Amendment, another stop on the Beer Week tour where I had the BEST veggie burger of my life (or maybe it was the beer that helped) but we had a blast in that place! I had to take this photo as we were leaving. I read the first beer offering and was immediately reminded I was NOT in the south anymore!
With a name like that, it must be a heck of a beer!
I could go on and on as this was a very good trip (including how we ran into Candlestick park by mistake - SCORE!) but I think you get the point. This west coast trip was awesome! The random murals and great architecture of SF is something you have to see at least once. Oh yeah...there is also KRUA, a small Thai spot that had me drooling over their interior design. It was crisp, clean and modern with just the right touch of warmth. They used every inch of that place but it did not feel crowded at all. We found it on Scout Mob and man, we were so stuffed I forgot to take photos. The web site does not do it justice. Even the restroom was well put together!
I am so happy the weather co-operated with us this year. After spending five days together, our group was still laughing and enjoying each other's company on the plane ride back, which is rare with a group of 6 women. Will we return next year? Who knows...we may not want to tempt fate.
Here is the entire album from the band, it is definitely worth the download.
One of my blog favs Monique at Unscripted Musings tagged me a while ago, (KayC hangs head in shame) and I'm just now getting around to complete it. I must get myself together! Ugh!
Here are the rules:
You must post 11 random things yourself.
Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
11 Random Things about me:
I enjoy solitude. The silence of my house is one of the most comforting things I have
I love my friends like family
I put on a tough mask but I wear my heart on my sleeve
I wanted to be a marriage counselor when I started college
My intuition is strong and almost always right. I need to listen to it more often
My car is 13 years old and I really don't want a car note
I love entertainment (books, movies, music, performing) and wish I could a make living in that field
I like being 'different' than the norm. Nothing upsets me like being compared to someone else.
I realize that I am deathly afraid of getting married again
I am not fully recovered from being broken, then again do you ever fully heal?
I enjoy stability and all that it entails
11 Questions from Monique
What has been your best Christmas gift to date? No Christmas gift stands out in my mind.
How did you spend last Valentine's Day? I have no idea. Honestly, I can't remember.
Who's your favorite author and why? Margaret Johnson-Hodge, she makes me want to burn my notebook! Her stories make you laugh, get mad and cry. She is a wonderful story teller.
Name your first boyfriend. Picture it, Clarkston, Georgia, late 80s...his name was Tova ;-)
What's your favorite dessert? Oreo Cookie Ice Cream
Name a time you've been disappointed. When my trust was violated over something that could've easily been avoided with a simple, honest conversation.
What did you want to be when you grew up? A performer, singer, dancer extraordinare
What's your favorite season? fall
It's Friday night, it's payday. Where are you and what are you doing? At home or at Theo's house under a blanket, watching TV. Maybe contemplating going out dancing.
What's the last movie you saw? Real Steel
Why do you blog? I started as an online diary to make myself write. Now it is more a place to put down thoughts and let them go.
Completing this blog tag made me realize I don't really do a lot celebrating and gift giving/receiving. I think that hilarious but very fitting to my lifestyle. If you chose to participate, please let me know. Thanks Mo for the questions, they gave me something to think about. The 11 random things were not easy.
German suffix Lieb means “Beloved or Favorite”… When people find favor in what you do, and it speaks to them, that’s a very rewarding compliment.
I'm back from the ups and downs of the holiday season and I think I just fully recovered. The holiday season surprisingly changed my life forever but it is something so personal I am still toying with the idea of blogging about it. People will always have opinions but I know I must make my decisions based on what I need and know is right for me.
My dearest blog Sis Lovebabz gave me this award and it is a wonderful surprise! I am tasked with the idea of giving this to more bloggers but sadly a few of them seem to not be blogging anymore.
The only constant in life is CHANGE...onward and upward my friends.
