Friday, April 16, 2010

My Drug, My High, My Habit

Listening to my sister-friend Lovebabz's blog talk radio show, I came across this song and was immediately taken in by the beat and first two lines:

She say that I'm a habit
And every time she sees me she's gotta have it

I was caught. Hook, line and sinker.

I can identify so much that I have consciously tried to put space between me and my habit. There is a definite 'it' factor to some men. Yes, he is handsome but he has issues and drama and still there is something about him that draws you in. It's the 'it' factor. If I could put my descriptive words to paper and write a book to fully explain the why and hows about, I could retire on the sales alone!

That 'it' factor keeps you going back for more when there is only less. It keeps you thinking about him when you may have not crossed his mind at all. It keeps you enchanted with someone and possibly wasting your time.

Our attraction is like a smoldering flame.

It is impossible to hide and everyone sees it, picks up on it and make comments about it. We can be on opposite sides of the room and someone will ask me if that is my dude or are they getting me in trouble 'cause dude been staring all night. Around him I feel this indescribable attraction, almost a magnetic pull that feels natural, comfortable and stagnant. I can physically feel him in the room without looking at him, feel him walk by me without looking up. Two Scorpios feed a physical desire that is unmatched by many.

Even with the positive it does not seem to grow.

I am typically not like this with people. When I decide it is time for a person to leave my life I can write you off like nothing. I am legendary for it. With him an apology holds weight. With him a miss you is golden. With is so different. For the life of me I can not explain why.

He is my drug, my habit, my high and it keeps me yearning for more. I am still learning to let him go and trying to move on.

Throwing in the towel..I surrender. I am declaring here on The Storm that I will no longer feed my habit.

He is a drug and I will try my best to stop getting high...

<a href="">Her High f/JUICE by J.Hollins</a>

You can download this song or the complete album here. Enjoy!

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...


  1. I understand how you feel, That post about letting go you wrote really hit me hard, I could have written it myself right down to being a Scorpio and loving hard and being loyal. I've been trying to let go of my situation and I just can't and this is not me, like you I can let go of people with no problem, never look back.

  2. Girllllll, you and me could both be singing that song. This post has me remembering my 2009 and that "it" that had me singing opera!
    But you do know that "it" factor is within you and not him...? When you decide to shift your energy and your focus, you will see that "it" no longer has a hold on you.

  3. Both posts left me speechless. So full of emotion. We have all felt this way, and it is like a drug. Good luck on breaking that habit...

  4. Raising my hand and stepping to the podium... IT is and addiction and I so TRY not to have it but it is often a simple word or text that just pulls me back in. I like what MsKnowItAll said...

    "But you do know that "it" factor is within you and not him...? When you decide to shift your energy and your focus, you will see that "it" no longer has a hold on you."

    SO on point.

  5. Sounds like you're gonna need REHAB to shake it. LOL. I feel you, tho. I think we've all been there at some point in time

  6. SunSoakerB,
    Welcome to The Storm. There is something about him that has a hold on me. Gotta figure it out...

    Singing Opera? It must have been goooodddd! LOL

    I know I need to shift my energy but sometimes...the bad stuff feels good too.

    Thanks, and welcome back!

    Yes, I do believe it is within. Funny how 'it' seems to just crave certain people and not others?

    LOL - I could surely use a 12 step program right now ;)