I thought that I should let you know
My heart is damaged
And you can blame the one before....
Tell me are you up for the challenge
'Cause my heart is damaged.
Lyrics from - Danity Kane
It is true.
My heart is damaged.
In being pursued I am very honest with my suitor and myself and I know just how damaged I am. In being honest with myself I have confessed my shortcomings, explained why I like moving in tortoise speed and am leery of words. He says he understands. Looks me in the eye when he asks me to "stop running" and will tell me when I can't even realize it "you're running again."
He is patient, he is kind. I wonder if I will get tired of running before he tires of the chase. It is not done on purpose. It is almost instinct. There is no maliciousness in my running and I sincerely do not wish to hurt him. My past creeps up on me like a ninja in the night - totally unexpected and unforgiving. I have come a long way in this healing process but have a long way to go before I am fully healed. Often I wonder if I will ever heal completely?
I have emerged carefully from behind my wall a few times and immediately retreated to its safety when things became too intense too quickly. He looks at me and sees me. I wonder if what he says is true. If his actions are sincere or rehearsed.
Only time will tell.
Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...