Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Damaged

As I sit here waisting my life away at the DMV I decided to give this mobile blogging thing a try.

Damaged
So Damaged
I thought that I should let you know
My heart is damaged
So Damaged
And you can blame the one before....

Tell me are you up for the challenge
'Cause my heart is damaged.

Lyrics from - Danity Kane



It is true.

My heart is damaged.

In being pursued I am very honest with my suitor and myself and I know just how damaged I am. In being honest with myself I have confessed my shortcomings, explained why I like moving in tortoise speed and am leery of words. He says he understands. Looks me in the eye when he asks me to "stop running" and will tell me when I can't even realize it "you're running again."

He is patient, he is kind. I wonder if I will get tired of running before he tires of the chase. It is not done on purpose. It is almost instinct. There is no maliciousness in my running and I sincerely do not wish to hurt him. My past creeps up on me like a ninja in the night - totally unexpected and unforgiving. I have come a long way in this healing process but have a long way to go before I am fully healed. Often I wonder if I will ever heal completely?

I have emerged carefully from behind my wall a few times and immediately retreated to its safety when things became too intense too quickly. He looks at me and sees me. I wonder if what he says is true. If his actions are sincere or rehearsed.

Only time will tell.



Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

5 comments:

  1. I know that it's cliche' but "time does heal all wounds". I'm not sure if we ever get past it , but we no longer hurt. I've come along way in my life and I've experienced the best of both worlds. I've been at the highiest only to hit rock bottom and to rise again. It starts with seeing tbe beauty in the life you have already and then the small blessing will become bigger. Keep ur head up and thanks 4 sharing. Check me out when you get a chance.

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  2. I don't know about you but this still sounds like fun. To me, it does. I promise you that if I were you I would not be in ANY rush. I mean, I'd even take my time and cook the rice slow....


    If a woman tells me that I am running, I would quickly inform her that instead of chasing ... if she awaited me at the finish line instead, "she and I" would still be the expected result.

    You don't hear me.

    Hahahaha. Let me stop playing on your blog....

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  3. well mobile blogging is good for you!

    this is a great post describing your vulnerability... it's ok and in time your heart will fully heal, so much so, you won't even realize it.

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  4. Catch your breath and STOP running. Do not let the past be the blueprint for your future. Love with abandon. Love with a full heart. Take that man into your soul and be a woman made for love.

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  5. if you ever find out the answer let me know.. i am running from everything...and everyone

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