Monday, June 21, 2010

And Like That...He's Gone

I tried.

Tried to look past the things I did not like and enjoy the things I did.

Yes, he was kind. Yes, he saw me. Was understanding and patient with my damaged heart. I appreciated it. But some things can not be changed. I attended a few of his events. He is a good DJ and plays to his crowd. Almost makes it effortless but the Man Behind the Mic syndrome is funny to me. I noticed at the last event he started to stay behind the DJ table more than usual. I laughed until I cried when one chick stopped at the table and literally bent over in front of him in a barely there dress.

Really? Are we that desperate now? Wow...simply wow.

I've dealt with my issues of him being younger, having a past with one of my acquaintances and being a member of the Blue & White fam. But the son and the son's mother is pushing me over the edge.

I always attract dads, they either have custody of their children or share custody. Please don't get me wrong it is a trait I find extremely attractive but at times as a woman without children it can be frustrating. He has his son for the summer. A very hyper and rambunctious 3-year-old. I am not a fan of meeting family or children until we know what we are doing and what type of 'relationship' this it. I avoided meeting the son for weeks until he blatantly asked for me to come hang out with them.

It was way too soon.

This little boy jumped in the sofa, yelled at me to play with him, jumped and rolled in my lap and almost kicked me in the face. Thank God I have great reflexes. All dad said was 'calm down' a few times.


I was sent barreling over the edge when dad was making lunch and I told the son to stop jumping in the sofa. He stopped jumping, looked me dead in the eye and said 'No' before continuing to jump. I knew it was time to go before I snatched this kid up and tore his little ass out the frame. I was not raised that way and could picture myself jacking him up against a wall. Who am I to discipline your child when you will not?

I am dating with a slightly different purpose now. I still date for fun and enjoyment but also to see if we fit into each others worlds. I can see myself having issue with him because of his disciplinary beliefs. Not to mention mom calls every two hours and he walks the house while talking to her. What are you saying that you can't say in front of me?

You can not be that worried or interested in your child staying with his father because he would behave much differently if you were. If you took the amount of time with him you spent calling over the summer when he is with you he would have better manners. Yes, I know what 3-year-olds are like. I taught pre-school for three years and guess what blog fam? You got it - I had the 3-year-old room complete with 21 of them.

I love children and would like to have a house filled with children's laughter. To help mold the next generation of leaders and genuine good people. But this situation?

Not good. No warm fuzzies there.

There are a lot of warning signs and this time I'm listening.

P.S. - You get MAD cool points if you can name the film that inspired the title of this post.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...


  1. awwwww...can you guys still just be friends..was there a good friendship there?? Its best you nip it in the bud before it goes any further.
    (easier said than done)letting go of someone you care about is hard trust me I know!!!
    *thanks for stopping by my spot*

  2. Title inspiration - The Usual Suspects?

  3. Gemini Girl,
    You're welcome. It was a great post! I am not sure if we will remain friends.

    You are correct! The inspiration was The Usual Suspects. Love that movie :)

  4. Oh my! Yeah umm bad kids are a no go. I've only dated one dad, and his son wasn't the issue as much as the mother.

  5. As a mom with 2 grown kids (17 & 25), I feel the same way you do. I still don't allow men to meet my kids until I have an idea of how solid things are and I'm the same way with their kids.

    If you've got red flags coming up, pay attention. Our guts are ALWAYS right. Even when we push them back down, they always find a way to creep back up....

  6. So the three year old was something like a baby Keyser Soze, eh?

    You have to pay close attention to children at this misleading age - they fully understand the fact that they are still "adorable little babies", and have no problem relegating back to this persona to gain advantage/avoid discipline, if necessary.

    Any previously conceived notions coming into play here?

  7. Mrs. Mary Mack,
    I was so shocked at the behavior. It literally caught me off guard.

    Welcome to the Storm! Those red flags always show up. There is no getting around them and when we dive in anyway there is always regret and a reminder of why the red flags were initially present.

    Laughing at the baby Kaiser Soze comment. Yes, he knew what he was doing. Knew exactly how to push his dad's buttons and get what he wanted when he wanted it. That was the problem. Screaming should NOT get you what you want at 3!

    No pre-conceived notions. Only flashbacks of getting my ass tore out the frame when I thought I could get away with that as a child ;)

  8. I don't mind younger men. I actually dated one who did not have any children, I was in amazed.
    But being I had two I was not sure he got the whole--I can't just jump up and run off concept.

    I can't stand bad kids. I would have been tempted to snatch that little boy myself. I am tempted when I see kids acting up in public. My two know momma is not the one.

    My ex husband has a daughter but I never had problems with her mother. We still continue to talk to one another even after I divorced him and her daughter is now grown.

    I am not dating now because I dated for all the wrong reasons. I need to take time and find out about me first.