Monday, January 4, 2010

Does Your Past Dictate Your Future?

Remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
But today is a gift.
That's why it's called The Present!
-Author Unknown

Last year was great, I met wonderful people, opened my heart to love and became one hell of a dancer, performer and Salsera. My holiday season was filled with an abundance of food, family, friends and love. As we enter another year and another decade I find myself looking back on my history. This year I will continue to answer the hard questions for myself about myself. Looking and dissecting both the good and bad choices. I am contemplating my failures and successes. Thinking about the difference a single choice can make in my outcome and I honestly feel overwhelmed at times.

There are a few people in my life who have difficult histories (money problems, shared parental concerns and self-esteem issues) that seem to shape who they are to other people. So much so that some of them keep those issues hidden until they feel a person has chosen to get to know them. Others have tried to share things with their Significant Others only to hear 'it doesn't matter' but ironically I can't help but think that it does.

Many people say that person's past can and will dictate what they will do in the future. For me I tend to attract people who are going through life situations exactly like mine. I attract men who have the 'White Knight Syndrome' even though I am far from a damsel in distress. Those men often have past lives that would deter a lot of people from pursuing a relationship with them. Multiple mothers of children, financial difficulties, strict time commitments, etc. Ironically they are wonderful fathers.

I find myself questioning when does the past become simply the past? Is there a time limit when you stop looking side-eyed at someone because they were slinging sex to everyone in high school or college when you are now well into your 30s, 40s or beyond? Do you hold that against them indefinitely? Why or why not?

When does your past dictate your future and when does it become just your past? When do you stop making decisions based on what other people will think of your choice for that new man or woman in your life? When do we stop dwelling in the past and truly look toward the future?

Peace & Blessings...


  1. I think if i've learned anything up until this point in life is that my past does dictate my future. I have made the mistakes and now that i'm armed with the information, I can ensure that I won't make them (intentionally) again.

    We have to stop looking back at was and think about what can be. I've made a promise to myself to live in the moment. I think everyone needs that reminder.

  2. The past should be a vehicle that helps you mold your future. Some people go about it the other way. I don't understand it tho. At some point in time, we all should mature and grow. Some are faster than others.

    Anutha great post! Happy New Year!!

  3. Nice post & nice blog. I love both.

  4. Ms. Insatiable,
    I agree that we have to work everyday to stop looking back. But it ain't easy sometimes, LOL!

    Happy New Year to you as well my blog brother. At some point I hope people do mature but some do it faster than others.

    Thank you for the compliment. Please stop by again...maybe leave your name next time? (no pressure :)