November is my birth month and each year I take the time to reflect on my life and the past 12 months before I add another year onto my age. A friend asked if I read this book and said she was buying it. My cheapness immediately made me google it and see if it is my local library. I plan to read it during my annual birthday retreat, the time I take off work around my birthday and Thanksgiving to spend with friends and reflect before the hustle and bustle of Christmas.
I do not travel much for Thanksgiving and no matter how much my mother lays on the guilt trip I stick to my reasonings and stay my butt at home. I know my budget and I know what I can/can not do and my family will be here at Christmas. I will see everyone then.
This letter to my younger self thing...it had me thinking. What would I tell my younger self? So with that in mind, I write:
Dear Younger Self,
You are a beautiful woman with a warm spirit. It is okay to be yourself at any cost. You will be tested and at times you will feel as if life is beating you up but you know what? You will survive. Do not allow other people to tell you who you are and what you can and can not do.
Your mother is trying her best but sometimes she will not get it right. She will make mistakes and it is okay for you to have your opinion. Learn from her mistakes. She will repeat them but you do not have to. Oh, and that goes for your father as well.
Oh honey, it is okay to walk away from that relationship even if you think you will be embarrassed. Always trust your gut, it very rarely steers you in the wrong direction. That relationship with him will not get better. He will show you who he is and your only job is to listen. Better yet, when you have that "I don't know" feeling about dating him, follow it. Actually, follow that instinct every time you feel it and you will be just fine.
Enjoy your Granny. Enjoy each day, holiday and talk you have with her. She will be taken away much too soon and you will miss that time with her almost every day. It gets easier but you will miss her. Oh, and write down that biscuit recipe and place it in a safe place because your mother loses it and no one else has it.
Take the leap of faith. There are plenty of FANTASTIC career paths out there that you have no idea about. Look into them, research them, ask around. You are so much more than anyone gives you credit for.
Not everyone will reciprocate the love you give but do not force yourself to ration it. If they can not return it then simply move on. That goes for all types of relationships. You can not fix anyone so do not waste time trying to do so. Also, you can not love someone past their pain. What you can do is love someone after they have dealt with their pain. THAT is the truth. Point. Blank. Period!
When the time comes, embrace your sexuality. Find your comfort level and do not allow anyone to take that from you or alter it in any way. You will find a balance and it does not include dressing provocatively. You are one of the few women who are not "girly" and still exude great sensuality. Trust me, men will see it and it will separate the men from the boys!
Life is so precious and short. Live each day and find something that makes you smile each day. You will grow into a fantastic woman.
Your Older Self