Adventures in Online Dating - Being Inconsiderate

After the holidays I thought I would try the online dating thing again. Part of me thinks this is a big waste of money and the other part of me remembers the man I had a connection with and thinks that it is possible.

The hopeless romantic in me is still alive.

And then...I got a message that warranted a response. It was clever, witty and made me laugh. I returned his message and enjoyed the conversation. The messages turned to texts and the texts turned into phone calls. I must admit that I was not wowed by him but it was a good conversation. (red flag, right?)

After a few calls we decided to meet. I suggested that we meet after he had taken care of a few things that morning. He insisted that we meet for breakfast. Everything seemed okay until that day. The morning came and I went through my normal routine. Around 11 am when I had not heard from him I decided to make myself breakfast. Around noon I decided to take the fur baby to the park to enjoy the beautiful day. There was no way I would waste a gorgeous day waiting on someone I had never laid eyes on.

After packing up the car with hiking equipment and starting on our journey my phone buzzed. It was after 1pm and I received a text....yeah, a text saying something like "Guess breakfast is out, huh?"

Needless to say it did not end well. My response was something along the lines of that was on you and his insisting that he was getting things together so we could meet soon. Soon is obviously up for interpretation because hours later it never arrived. I don't believe in texts so it was over for me when he didn't answer his phone. Why be inconsiderate? If you have plans then say, "I am not available. I have plans that evening." My response would have been, "Okay, no problem." After texts back and forth that evening our communication ended with a text from him, "No worries."

No worries indeed. The idea someone could think a text message hours after you insisted on meeting someone is appropriate is beyond my scope of reasoning. For a first date? I just have to laugh and shake my head. I guess I am old fashioned that way. I believe in letting someone know when plans go south, so that person can make other plans if needed. It is just being considerate of the other person's time. Because we all only have 24 hours in a day and their time is just as important as my own.

Have I heard from him since? Nope!

Do I think he will call or text? Nope!

My friends have a bet on how many weeks it will take before he contacts me again, because they always come back, right?

In this case, let us hope not.

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Adventures in Online Dating - Why Lie?

Installment #3 in this series. You can check out installment one and installment two if you wish to do so.

I have dance listed on my profile as something I enjoy doing in my spare time. I thought it was interesting when an older man contacted me and said he also loved to dance. He mentioned that he danced ballroom competitively and he was looking forward to learning Argentine Tango. Right up my alley, right? I replied to his email and it went something like this:

Me: I see you like to dance Salsa and listen to it often. What artists are on your playlist?

Him: ...I don't really have a "list." I like all kinds...a lot of what is played at the clubs though...I do enjoy Gypsy Kings, Santana, Marc Anthony, etc.

I know my way around the Salsa/Bachata/Cha Cha/Etc. scene…..Learning Argentine Tango is on my wish list….ideally I'd learn it with my life partner and love. What kind of dancing do you perform?

Me: O_O *crickets* 

Okay, let me break this down. As someone who "dances salsa on a regular basis" he would have a list of artists that he likes. Especially if he dances Salsa competitively. How do you dance as serious as he proclaims and not know who you are dancing to?

Strike One....

The next thing is the artists he listed. Even in the mainstream clubs they would NEVER play Santana nor Gypsy Kings risk having the dance floor clear out. You might get one or two Marc Anthony songs but those are rare. Clearly this was either someone pretending with a fake account or someone lying about what they like to do. Why lie? Did he really think I would fall for that? Hell, I even listed an artist that I like in my profile. Why not google them and see what pops up? Geesh....

Strike Two....

And for lying about it...Strike Three....

Moving on....

There are good exchanges but the bad ones make for good reading :-) Stay tuned, I am sure there is still more to come

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Adventures in Online Dating - Did He Really Say that?

It took some convincing for a few friends to talk me into this online dating thing. There are a few people in my social circles that have met using an online forum and it has worked for them. One of the couples married this past weekend. Congrats!

I tried the free trial first and it was...okay. It was really interesting that most men were only interested in women under the age of 35 and listed every ethnic group instead of African-American/Black. Man, there is very little love for black women in online dating. I can not even say women of color because they all seem to favor Latina/Hispanic and even Asian or Pacific Islander. They really listed EVERYONE except black women.

I mean.....WOW.... O_O

Well, I had about 30 emails before I decided that I would actually go on and check this thing out. Most of them were from the typical black men, hat over his eyes, chest out in photos, using emails that were obviously copied and pasted to every girl he saw. One even asked me to lunch in the first very email. Try at least asking my name first, okay? What was really interesting was that most of the men who seemed to take the time to read my profile and try to make an interesting conversation were white men. And they were not playing with their approach, which made the other men pale in comparison.

But there was one IM message that took place that was worth sharing. It went something like this:

Him: I can help you with your career
Me: My career?
Him: Yes, I can help you. I can show you some moves
Me: *crickets*
Him: Do you make money dancing?
Me: How can you help me with my career?
Him: I can show you some moves
Me: You don't know what type of dance I do
Him: I can help
Me: Are you a strip club owner? Manager?
Him: No, I can just help
Me: I'm ending this conversation now. Good Bye

and then I hit the block button. Laughed at him and signed off. That was my first and last instant message conversation on that site. I never said dancing was my profession. My profession is listed and it is NOT dance. Anyone else thinks he was a pimp? Yeah, I do as well.

Did he really say that?!?

Stay tuned, I am sure there is more to come

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Adventures in Online Dating - Single Again

A while ago I promised myself to stop being superficial with my writing so here goes.

Yep, you read that right. I am back on the singles scene. One of the things that happened while I was on blogging hiatus was the ending of the relationship with Theo. It was pleasant split (in the end) and I once again learned that I need to follow that small voice inside you. I had reservations at the start. There were questions of maturity and such things that made me realize I was not his wife.

He was happy but I was not. I was not happy and I knew there was no way I could be happy in that relationship, for a variety of reasons. As more pressure to marry and cohabitate was put on me daily I felt like someone was pushing me into a corner. Yeah, you read that right. The woman in the relationship literally had a slight panic attack at the counter looking at rings. I could not get myself into another marriage that was not fulfilling, not supportive nor emotionally balanced as I gave too much and received too little.

But, all of that happened a while ago and I have now been talked into online dating. I thought about it and said "sure, why not." My main reason was/is to meet someone who is not in my social circle. People think my city is large but in reality it is not. If you went to high school and college here, chances are there is only one or two degrees of separation between you (or your girls) and that new guy you met while hanging out. And I refuse to have my partner have a "past" with anyone I know socially. The last thing I want to happen is to have one of sorority sisters try to "compare notes" with me at a function because she "knows" the guy who is currently trying to fill my life partner position. And yes, that has happened before which knocked him right out of the running.

I also refuse to deal with the crap that comes from your guy having a past with every woman on the dance floor because he uses dance as his dating pool. There is also the "secret relationships" on the dance floor with the married folk and their side pieces while their public partners are usually none the wiser. Yep, been there as well.

So, here I am. A woman of a certain age, trying something new.

There will be stories, trust me.

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...