"Dating someone who is divorced requires patience," he stated. Barely above a whisper.
I looked at him side-eyed but did not respond. Wanted to see where he was going with it. Because I KNOW he was not calling me high maintenance.
"You require patience. I understand, it's cool," he said as he looked back at me side-eyed with a wicked grin on his face. "I can be patient."
"You calling me high maintenance on the sly?" I could not resist the question.
He laughed at me.
"Long way from it, Luv. You're extremely cautious. You hide behind a brick wall. Think you can put in a door or at least a window?"
His words stung.
After several moments I replied, "Guess I've made progress. The wall was covered in ice with a moat around it. I'll see what the contractor quotes me and get back to you. The window probably...but the door," I shook my head. "You may be pushing it."
He called me out.
I say I am open to love, want it and need it. Have my arms open to allow it to walk right in but when it comes down to it...I hide behind a brick wall. Since my re-entry into this dating world I have not been treated poorly but have not been treated well either. It is my fault. I have allowed men to give me bits and pieces, snacking on crumbs while nursing a huge hunger that requires a full meal.
I have allowed men to give tidbits of time as they deem fit while they carved out pieces of themselves for me and her and her. Settled for just OK when I desired more, gave more and thought having a starting lineup would help fulfill the emptiness left by the franchise player. I was approaching this all wrong...waiting on men to realize I was worthy of their time and commitment when the truth is they knew I would never be their 'one' but it did not stop me from patiently pursuing the few I chose.
But now...I am being pursued. Courted.
The very thing I write about here at The Storm and comment on various posts of fellow bloggers is happening to me.
Invites to events, having dinner cooked for me, being introduced to friends and associates. Yes, even passing the friendship test way before being more than a friend was a consideration (on my part at least).
And I am running away...
We met by chance at an event I attended with my Salsa group. It was a Christian singles event and we were invited to spark interest in Salsa before classes began at the next event. He was the DJ (another creative mind, can't seem to get away from them) and I asked for a card (always the event planner) because he was literally rocking the place. Only to find out we already knew each other in passing.
That Blue & White world is too damn small.
The conversation lured me in. He is an orator and has an amazing way with words. There is nothing like a man who can express himself. Who can give you a compliment in one breath and tell you you're trying his patience with the next and it comes across as nothing short of communication. It is not mean or angry and it leads to conversation instead of arguments.
What's the problem? I knew you would ask.
I am an old soul and he is young. Sometimes it shows. Younger than anyone I have ever dated or considered dating. Not KayC you are being a Cougar young but a good 4 years younger. And being in the Blue & White network means there is someone he has a history with that I know...pretty well.
He makes a living in the entertainment industry which I vowed to step away from. Especially after my Addiction. Women flock to Men Behind the Mike (Thanks to Mrs. Mary Mack for that term) and that lifestyle is not easy on relationships even when you do trust your partner.
He is not physically what I would go for. I am shallow...and I can call myself out on it. Actually, I am not shallow I just want the total package. Whatever that is for me. I have settled before with someone because he had a great personality and when that personality began to fade and the 'real him' came out I no longer liked him and there was nothing else to him. Nothing to spark my interest and that is not a good place to reside.
I am treading dangerous waters and I have no clue what I am going to do. But I can tell you that being pursued by someone who makes the time to do so is a wonderful feeling. Being around someone who gives you space at events but can turn around and tell you, "I know what I want and I want you. I am going to pursue you."
Great feeling indeed.
Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...