Who are YOU? What do YOU want? - My Answers

My parallel life traveler and blog sister Lovebabz recently posted these questions and it really got me to thinking. On the surface these questions seemed so simple, but in essence are so complicated that they seemed to have stumped quite a few bloggers.


Who are YOU?

I am a person who feels deeply, although my face may show ice or my actions show a means to get it done. If you learn how to decode my facial expressions you will have instant access into my soul. Because of this I have been told to go into acting, yes I love performing but have no desire to delve into that field at my age and be a starving artist again.

I am a person who believes in love. After years of nursing myself back to a healthy relationship with love, I truly believe in love. Love does not keep score, it allows you to be who you are with no repercussions or fall out. Hurt feelings are human nature, hurting someone's feelings repeatedly is a different story. Love will find me and I will be able to give and receive love and enjoy it. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes we just don't understand that we are holding onto the things that God is trying to take away. Yes Lord, I surrender. I no longer fight to keep things, people or feelings that I should have let go long ago. I now know that God doesn't do coincidences. When people fall out of my life, I should leave them there.

I am a nurturer and a giver. My friends call me loyal...sometimes to a fault. I can be brutally honest at times. I believe if your friends can not tell you the truth, no one can. My family is important to me, they include people related by blood and those I have added to my family over the years.

Titles do not matter to me. Who cares if you are a Regional President when you have no time to spend with me? I enjoy cuddling while watching a movie or engaging in a good conversation. I could care less if you wear a suit to work or a uniform. It is all a means to make money to pay bills. What I do care about is your spirit, your being and how responsible you are.


What do YOU want?

I want to know happiness. Every day is not filled with kisses, roses and romance but I want to enjoy as many days as possible for as long as possible.

I want someone in my life who appreciates all that I give and reciprocates that to the best of their ability. We will NOT try to out due each other, but realize that being together makes life better, easier and more enjoyable.

I want my own family no matter what the makeup of that is. In this day and age bonus children are almost a guarantee and that doesn't bother me since I recently found out I may not be able to have children of my own. I am in my 30s and have three other siblings from two other mothers. I am well-equipped and pre-disposed to have a productive relationship with a man with children. As long as he loves furry children as well :)

I want to travel the world and experience different cultures. I want to get married on the beach at sunset and dance the night away with good friends, family and relatives until my feet beg for mercy. I want to know that my life here on this earth made a difference to someone...

In a nutshell...

That is who I AM and that is what I WANT.

Random Thunderstorms...(WTH?)

I recently ran into the ex-husband at one of my favorite hangout spots. We aren't friends and I had no desire to carry a conversation with him. After passing him a few times, he almost shouted "Hello Kay, How are you?" I almost laughed at him and flipped back a "Hey, what's up" and never broke stride...WTH? Wonder what the chick he was with thought of that?

My Supervisor had the nerve to tell someone the other day "My time is valuable"...WTH? Like their time isn't?

I'm too old for dating games. Don't start to call and text me again after you turned ghost for weeks...WTH?

What do you mean "is this my hair?" Can't you see my scalp? Yes, it grows this way and yes I have curls, kinks, and waves...WTH?

"Me and J have the same taste in women. He's a great guy. I hit on all of his friends. Your hair is pretty can I touch it?" Seriously....WTH? Those sentences told me more about you than you ever could. Sorry, but you may NOT touch my hair. Furthermore if J is such a great guy, why do you hit on his friends?

WTH? Prince is doing shows in Vegas again? Where can I get a ticket?

It took you how long to get ready? WTH!?!

I got hit on by a woman for the first time, didn't know if I should be flattered or ask her WTH?

I have over 40 sick days and you are looking at me cross-eyed for taking one? WTH?

There has to be a better way to make a living than working a full-time gig for 30 years. WTH?

What do you mean "Everyone's salary will be frozen next year." Have you seen the price of food? WTH?!?

My new neighbor had the nerve to ask me to pay for branch removal after a storm put three branches in her fenced backyard from a tree in my yard. I looked at her crazy when she said "I swept the patio and had it looking pretty and then leaves from your tree fell into it again." Ummm...yeah, they do that. What you want me to do? WTH?!?

Sometimes, When it Rains...

When it rains
I only want to be held and rocked
Rub my hair and tell me it's okay
For time to stop ticking on the clock
Sometimes, when it rains...

When it rains
I hate the storms
but love the sound
i like learning the lesson
but can't stand the pain, profound
Sometimes, when it rains...

When it rains
So hard to remember the good
When the bad invades
Seems like forever
like running a Boston in Spades
Sometimes, when it rains...

When it rains
My mind can't wrap around it
That it must rain for things to grow
It needs sunshine and rain, I know
But sometimes, when it rains...

Copyright 2009 - KayC, The Quiet Storm

It's been raining here off and on for weeks. I like the rain, love the sound of raindrops against the windowpane. I love the wind and melody it makes. Growing up my grandmother used to tell us "to be still and let God do his work." Funny how I still do that to this day.

Rain makes me want to grab a good book and cuddle up with my quilt. Years ago I remember cuddling with my SO and we would literally lay around the house all day. Now...there is no SO, it's just me and my quilt.

Days like today make me long for someone in my life. A serious someone who holds the same interest in me the I do of him. No games, no pretense, just transparency. Sunny days are easy, those days go by like clockwork. They do not make my heart hurt, they do not make me long for something that I miss.

But sometimes, when it rains...