Friday, September 18, 2009

My World in Zeros and Ones...

"Your world is zeros and ones," he said.

"Zeros and ones?" I asked.

He smiled at me then replied, "Yes, everything is very cut and dry with you. Either black or white. Like I said...zeros and ones."

That was a recent conversation with a friend when he laughed after I said our lines are becoming blurred. I seriously thought about what he said and why my world consists of zeros and ones. A former friend used to tell me all the time that I lived in a world of black and white with no shades of grey.

Funny, I think back to my failed marriage and realize that I lived in shades in grey for almost a decade. For 10 years I lived a life of constant doubt. Not knowing if I would come home to find half the closets empty or if I would get an earful because some random guy decided to stare at me as we walked by. Life was a constant shade of grey until late 2007.

Now I find that there is safety is black and white. There is a comfort in living within a world of zeros and ones. I like to know what I am getting, like to have a firm grasp of the situation before I allow myself to jump into the deep end. My way of trying to protect myself from blatant hurt is to know as much as possible before making a decision.

I do not close myself off from love and have worked hard to leave my cold exterior with my former last name. Throughout the past 2 years I have become more social, more open to new things, new people and new experiences, but I prefer to have my life in zeros and ones. I like surprises...but not ALL surprises!

Peace & Blessings...


  1. Ahh zeros and ones...hhhmmm...

    OK. Mix in some reds, purples, golds and then my dear see what happens. Let the mystery unfold without racing to the ending. I love a man (Capricorn) who is very much a man of zeros and ones! He needs the road map to show all the pitfalls, all the landmarks. Me, All I need is a flashlight and a compass and I am good.

    I am not better than he...I just experience more of the magic of the world. EXPERIENCE the magic of the world. Shoot for High definition...LOL!

    We's freed women NOW!

  2. Life may be zeros and ones now but sooner or later you will feel comfortable to let a few two's, three's or seven's in. It's hard to bounce back after being with someone so controlling (that's what I gather from various comments about your ex). It makes you second guess everything.

    Keep dancing, life will come together in your time, not anyone elses.

  3. I never looked at it like this before. Interesting.

  4. you sound like one who proceeds with caution. in my opinion...there's nuffin wrong with that.

  5. I had a similar conversation with a dear friend of mine around this time last year... zeros & ones...

    There's nothing wrong with 0's and 1's... If that's who you are, then those around you will love & accept that & everything about you.

  6. Lovebabz...We's freed women NOW!
    LOL at you! Yes, we are free and sometimes it is hard to open up to the world of wonderful color. Rest assured God is working on me overtime!

    Rich...I do second guess a lot. Mainly because I don't want to punish someone else for my ex's mistakes and bad habits.

    Of course I will keep dancing, it's my crack. I'm totally addicted :-)

    QueenBee...Not sure I saw it this way either until it was pointed out to me.

    12Kyle...I agree, for right now anyway :-)

    MsKnowitAll...Yes, there are those who love my zero and ones approach. It seems to work for right now. I think that is fundamentally who I am, but I will allow a few 2s and 3s in there occasionally...maybe, LOL!