Some Decisions Are Never Simple

Where do I begin?

I am re-evaluating my life right now. I was asked a simple question and I need to take some time to find my answer. The question was "Do you get more fulfillment and enjoyment at the end of the day from things or emotions?" It was asked by the HR Director when we discussed me finding my career path at my job. 

First, I am glad that she is talking to me about my career path because I have struggled with that for some time. My job is one that is always on the chopping block first when budget cuts are made. My position has been safe so far and I have been at my current job for more than a few years, longer than other job in the past but there is always the thought in the back of the mind of being expendable. 

I have the opportunity to train in an area that in never expendable but that requires giving up my vacation time. In fact, thanks to new policies I will lose my vacation time and not accrue any more if I leave my current position for any other position in this company. Yeah, that sucks but I need to grow and begin to live life again.

This is a lateral move, if I move at all right now. A lateral move to put myself in a position to move up in the next year or so. That is something I can not do in my current position. I am hidden here. I work behind the scenes and that is fine with me. I cultivate relationships with co-workers and vendors so when I need something 'yesterday' I can pick up a phone and they are glad to make it happen. It is a great feeling to have vendors who genuinely smile when you walk through their door. I am proud of myself for that.

But as I near another birthday and another phase of life I realize there are changes to be made and I need to think about me first. Some decisions are never simple...

Random Thunderstorms...(Living vs Existing)

I know I have been MIA from blogland and so have my blog peeps from the look of my blog feed and the links to the right of the screen. Life stops for no one, least of all me. So, let's get random...


I can not remember the last time I have been in a relationship that lasted this long. Things are...growing. Bumps in the road are inevitable but I find myself being the person who guides and patiently waits for the light bulb moment. I like the ability to broaden a person's horizons but I remember that 'even a Counselor needs a Counselor sometimes.'


I still dance on occasion but it nothing like I used to. I have danced less than 10 times all year and that includes performances. What is wrong with me? Drama has taken my safe haven, my hardwood therapy and it makes it difficult for me to enjoy it anymore. Fortunately the drama was not a result of anything I've done or a reaction of any of my actions but still the backlash has ended up directly effecting me. Funny how people can do dirt, get mad when they get caught and then project it onto you like you are in the wrong. It...simply...amazes...me. Just when I thought people could not surprise me anymore, they show me how low mankind can stoop and still think they are fabulous creatures and the best thing to bless man since sliced bread.


One of my friends used me to get ahead at work. I am happy she got the raise and change in job title. What I am not thrilled about it how every day she was in my office complaining, asking for advice when I had to hear through the grapevine that she received her new position after I didn't see her for over a week. Then she acted ungrateful with the new three level higher pay grade. Some people are never happy. I knew she was a user, which is why I stopped hanging with her outside of work hours. One of these days I will learn to stop allowing people to use me.



Ah yes, drama is all around me. I guess that means I am doing something right? Who knows....what's going on with you blog peeps?

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...

Push and Pull, Give and Take

Time flies and I can not believe that months have past since I posted here.

The relationships I am around right now have me questioning how we pick our significant others. Some people are givers and some people are takers by nature. There are those who want to control and those who want to please. It should balance out right? Not exactly.

Sometimes takers will take until they suck the life out of the people around them. People who are natural givers will give their all. They will give until they have nothing left for themselves. At what point does the push and pull balance out to meet in the middle?

Is there ever a point when the taker learns to give? Or do they simply use everyone around them until they use them up?

Why is it that two givers can not find each other? I know two takers would never find a balance but it would be nice to see two people catering to each other.

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings...