Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Damaged

As I sit here waisting my life away at the DMV I decided to give this mobile blogging thing a try.

Damaged
So Damaged
I thought that I should let you know
My heart is damaged
So Damaged
And you can blame the one before....

Tell me are you up for the challenge
'Cause my heart is damaged.

Lyrics from - Danity Kane



It is true.

My heart is damaged.

In being pursued I am very honest with my suitor and myself and I know just how damaged I am. In being honest with myself I have confessed my shortcomings, explained why I like moving in tortoise speed and am leery of words. He says he understands. Looks me in the eye when he asks me to "stop running" and will tell me when I can't even realize it "you're running again."

He is patient, he is kind. I wonder if I will get tired of running before he tires of the chase. It is not done on purpose. It is almost instinct. There is no maliciousness in my running and I sincerely do not wish to hurt him. My past creeps up on me like a ninja in the night - totally unexpected and unforgiving. I have come a long way in this healing process but have a long way to go before I am fully healed. Often I wonder if I will ever heal completely?

I have emerged carefully from behind my wall a few times and immediately retreated to its safety when things became too intense too quickly. He looks at me and sees me. I wonder if what he says is true. If his actions are sincere or rehearsed.

Only time will tell.



Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Monday, June 7, 2010

Storm Breaker...Six Kids


Thought I would keep the mood light before tackling more issues. My sister sent this to me and I thought it was hilarious...Enjoy!!!


Six Kids

A guy boards a plane followed by six kids.

The flight attendant says "Awwww, are these your kids?"

The man responds "No. I work for Trojan, these are customer complaints!"



Awwwwww, come on. These are just jokes! :-)

Peace & Blessings...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Meditating in Mexico

I found her.

I went on my very first cruise and I found myself again. I had lost her in the drama of the world and somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico I found this woman who was exhausted from wandering. She whispered in my ear and took her rightful place in my life. Like she had lived there all along and had never disappeared.

My cousin and I took our first trip 'sister girl' trip together. It was a cruise to Mexico. We went with a group of about 20-30 people and had a great time.

Before the ship left the dock


I can scratch taking a cruise off my 50 things to do list. As well as drinking tequila and Salsa dancing in Mexico. I had to convince this Cuban guy named Leo that I was not Cuban or of any Hispanic decent. He seemed convinced I was Hispanic because of the way I Salsa. I have to tell my instructor he complimented him on his teaching methods :)

Every morning I would wake up early, put on my swimsuit, hat and sunglasses and find a quiet spot on the deck to enjoy the breeze and watch the waves. There are no words to explain the feeling of being there in the moment. My phone turned on airplane mode, slow music playing softly in my ears and the serenity that came with it. No sense of time and no sense of urgency to be anywhere by a deadline.

I looked like this every day - only the swimsuit changed



My morning view looked like this




This was considered the cloudy day


I meditated, thought out some feelings/conflicts and just enjoyed myself, enjoyed the company of nice people and great drinks. Sitting alone or with a group I always met someone. Some very nice ladies from Toledo, a Jean-Claude Van Dame look-alike from Tampa, a group from Detroit and countless others.

By the time we set sail to return from our destination we knew our crew members by name and began to learn more about them. It was great to be on a smaller boat because you really get the chance to enjoy the company of new friends. You began to see the same faces and they remember you as well.

The sunset and nights with a full moon on the water were absolutely breathtaking. I would spend every evening with a group of photographers trying to capture what we were seeing on digital film. Every photo was great but did not come close to seeing it in person. Thank God my camera also does video. It took exactly 1 minute and 30 seconds for the sun to dip into the water.



The only down side is I did not get my passport stamped but this view and the sampling of tequila more than made up for it.

The ships docked in Mexico


I have learned enough Spanish to communcate in port, one lady started speaking to me in French and became really confused when I responded to that as well :)

The travel bug has bitten both my cousin and I and we are already looking for great deals and our next 'sister girl' destination.

Watch out world...here we come!


Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...