Tagged...Random

One of my blog favs Monique at Unscripted Musings tagged me a while ago, (KayC hangs head in shame) and I'm just now getting around to complete it. I must get myself together! Ugh!

Here are the rules:

1. You must post 11 random things yourself.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
3. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer

11 Random Things about me:

1. I enjoy solitude. The silence of my house is one of the most comforting things I have
2. I love my friends like family
3. I put on a tough mask but I wear my heart on my sleeve
4. I wanted to be a marriage counselor when I started college
5. My intuition is strong and almost always right. I need to listen to it more often
6. My car is 13 years old and I really don't want a car note
7. I love entertainment (books, movies, music, performing) and wish I could a make living in that field
8. I like being 'different' than the norm. Nothing upsets me like being compared to someone else.
9. I realize that I am deathly afraid of getting married again
10. I am not fully recovered from being broken, then again do you ever fully heal?
11. I enjoy stability and all that it entails

11 Questions from Monique

1. What has been your best Christmas gift to date? No Christmas gift stands out in my mind.
2. How did you spend last Valentine's Day? I have no idea. Honestly, I can't remember.
3. Who's your favorite author and why? Margaret Johnson-Hodge, she makes me want to burn my notebook! Her stories make you laugh, get mad and cry. She is a wonderful story teller.
4. Name your first boyfriend. Picture it, Clarkston, Georgia, late 80s...his name was Tova ;-)
5. What's your favorite dessert? Oreo Cookie Ice Cream
6. Name a time you've been disappointed. When my trust was violated over something that could've easily been avoided with a simple, honest conversation.
7. What did you want to be when you grew up? A performer, singer, dancer extraordinare
8. What's your favorite season? fall
9. It's Friday night, it's payday. Where are you and what are you doing? At home or at Theo's house under a blanket, watching TV. Maybe contemplating going out dancing.
10. What's the last movie you saw? Real Steel
11. Why do you blog? I started as an online diary to make myself write. Now it is more a place to put down thoughts and let them go.

Completing this blog tag made me realize I don't really do a lot celebrating and gift giving/receiving. I think that hilarious but very fitting to my lifestyle. If you chose to participate, please let me know. Thanks Mo for the questions, they gave me something to think about. The 11 random things were not easy.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

The Liebster Award...Onward and Upward

German suffix Lieb means “Beloved or Favorite”… When people find favor in what you do, and it speaks to them, that’s a very rewarding compliment.

I'm back from the ups and downs of the holiday season and I think I just fully recovered. The holiday season surprisingly changed my life forever but it is something so personal I am still toying with the idea of blogging about it. People will always have opinions but I know I must make my decisions based on what I need and know is right for me.

My dearest blog Sis Lovebabz gave me this award and it is a wonderful surprise! I am tasked with the idea of giving this to more bloggers but sadly a few of them seem to not be blogging anymore.

The only constant in life is CHANGE...onward and upward my friends.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...

Leaving the Past...NOT Always Easy

Just when you think you have it right...you are...tested. Taken through the flames you once walked through with vigor. You find yourself face to face with the same demons you thought you conquered. The same things you thought you had killed, dismembered and buried deep where there would never surface again.

Sometimes those demons come back to haunt you.

God has shown me that He (or She, whatever you prefer and whomever you worship) is in total control of my life. I showed my hand to God and He (or She) laughed at my ridiculous thoughts and vision of my future. I now know that things are in my future that I had no idea I would be blessed to have but at the same time I also know that the remnants of my previous marriage still haunt me.

It seems like every time I think I am healed, when I truly feel as if I can walk facing forward, something reminds me why I am in this place at this time. Right now it is all financial. My trust in someone that did not deserve a dime had me close to financial ruin and it seems no matter how much I try, those financial demons shape my current situation.

I try so hard not to be bitter but there are times when my humanity gets the best of me and I HATE HIM FOR IT!!! Then I hate that I was so quick to be done with him that I accepted all the debt and let him out free as a bird to enjoy life with his next wife.

While they seem to be doing extremely well (I know things are not always what they seem) I am haunted by his financial irresponsibility and my stupidity in mixing my finances with his. And now, years later I am still struggling with those choices.

It effects me...every...day.

I eagerly await the day when I can fully walk away from those bad choices. The choices that have me in a place that is currently keeping me from things I need to do. The financial issues that are now shaping my views on relationships. I need to get a handle on this before it ruins my current blessing.

Don't get me wrong, I am a stickler for budgets and I do not waste money. But it so hard to dig yourself out of a hole when you don't make much and prices in an unstable economy fluctuate like the wind.

Leaving the past behind you...is not always easy.

I MUST learn how to do it.

Soon.

What I have learned...make your choices carefully.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...