Some Decisions Are Never Simple

Where do I begin?

I am re-evaluating my life right now. I was asked a simple question and I need to take some time to find my answer. The question was "Do you get more fulfillment and enjoyment at the end of the day from things or emotions?" It was asked by the HR Director when we discussed me finding my career path at my job. 

First, I am glad that she is talking to me about my career path because I have struggled with that for some time. My job is one that is always on the chopping block first when budget cuts are made. My position has been safe so far and I have been at my current job for more than a few years, longer than other job in the past but there is always the thought in the back of the mind of being expendable. 

I have the opportunity to train in an area that in never expendable but that requires giving up my vacation time. In fact, thanks to new policies I will lose my vacation time and not accrue any more if I leave my current position for any other position in this company. Yeah, that sucks but I need to grow and begin to live life again.

This is a lateral move, if I move at all right now. A lateral move to put myself in a position to move up in the next year or so. That is something I can not do in my current position. I am hidden here. I work behind the scenes and that is fine with me. I cultivate relationships with co-workers and vendors so when I need something 'yesterday' I can pick up a phone and they are glad to make it happen. It is a great feeling to have vendors who genuinely smile when you walk through their door. I am proud of myself for that.

But as I near another birthday and another phase of life I realize there are changes to be made and I need to think about me first. Some decisions are never simple...