Random Thunderstorms...Crossroads

I have several random crossroads in my life right now. What better place to discuss a few of them...


I have a friend who is very near and dear to me. She has been seeing a guy who is not comfortable showing signs they are dating in public. They can't arrive anywhere together, show any PDA or leave together. But, he constantly tells her she's the one he wants to be with. It has been over a year now and my friend knows of other women he has also been seeing and she confessed to me they are considering moving in together. Merging children, finances and lives. I had to be a good friend and ask "How can you live with someone who will not claim you in public?" I was floored...but no matter what she chooses, I hope she will be happy. It took so much restraint for me to not yell while she told me. I remember when I was in that situation, being held captive to an Addiction that was not good for me. Life is ironic like that.


Speaking of my Addiction...I am doing pretty well in walking away from him. He called in November and I did not answer, simply sent a 'thank you' text days later. He sent a link to a news story in February concerning my job field. It took me weeks before I read it but never responded to him. Most recently he sent me another link to my FB account. Never an apology, never any written words outside of the subject of the emails. I know he is thinking of me but if he truly wanted to reach out? Try it with words and maybe start with an apology. Nice bait...but I am not biting. Yes, I admit to stumbling but I will not stop walking away.


I recently befriended (or so I thought) a fellow blogger. Enjoyed reading their blog and we ended up having good phone conversation and email exchanges. But after I repeatedly turned them down in the 'relationship' department (and I use that term loosely) things hit the fan. I don't know how many times I have stated here that I do NOT play the role of the other woman but I am serious about that. If you live with someone, if you have an 'understanding' with someone or if you are having relations with someone... I WILL NOT become involved with you deeper than a friendship level! Translation: I will not become physical with you. Do not ask me about my bedroom habits or specifics on my bedroom behavior. Since I asked if I would be removed from the twitter account every time we disagreed I was also removed from the blogroll. It's okay though, lesson learned. Always follow your first instincts. I view my blog as an online journal, I am flattered if you care to read it but I don't use it as a place to meet men. I meet plenty in my daily real-world life.


I am thinking of a career change. Not really a career change but trying to figure out my purpose, my passion and how to leave my mark. Have you seen someone who does something they are passionate about? There is nothing like watching them. I need to find my 'thing' and keep it close. I think I am close to figuring all of this out. If the last few days are any indication, I know I am on the right track because there are some people who are really mad at me. But I have some big ideas and plans on how to bring them into fruition.


I am at a crossroads because I think each interaction rather good or bad is having an effect on me. Each event that takes place in my life is molding me into the person I am destined to become. I may not be who I want to be but thank God I am not the woman I used to be! I had a situation last weekend that I felt I handled pretty well and reinforced to myself that I know when to walk away, when to leave well enough alone and not try to fit in. No one is living my life, this life, my daily life except for me and now I at least know when I have had my fill and where I find my joy. That tells me I am making strides and choosing the right direction at my crossroads.



Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings...