Yep, you read that right. I am back on the singles scene. One of the things that happened while I was on blogging hiatus was the ending of the relationship with Theo. It was pleasant split (in the end) and I once again learned that I need to follow that small voice inside you. I had reservations at the start. There were questions of maturity and such things that made me realize I was not his wife.
He was happy but I was not. I was not happy and I knew there was no way I could be happy in that relationship, for a variety of reasons. As more pressure to marry and cohabitate was put on me daily I felt like someone was pushing me into a corner. Yeah, you read that right. The woman in the relationship literally had a slight panic attack at the counter looking at rings. I could not get myself into another marriage that was not fulfilling, not supportive nor emotionally balanced as I gave too much and received too little.
But, all of that happened a while ago and I have now been talked into online dating. I thought about it and said "sure, why not." My main reason was/is to meet someone who is not in my social circle. People think my city is large but in reality it is not. If you went to high school and college here, chances are there is only one or two degrees of separation between you (or your girls) and that new guy you met while hanging out. And I refuse to have my partner have a "past" with anyone I know socially. The last thing I want to happen is to have one of sorority sisters try to "compare notes" with me at a function because she "knows" the guy who is currently trying to fill my life partner position. And yes, that has happened before which knocked him right out of the running.
I also refuse to deal with the crap that comes from your guy having a past with every woman on the dance floor because he uses dance as his dating pool. There is also the "secret relationships" on the dance floor with the married folk and their side pieces while their public partners are usually none the wiser. Yep, been there as well.
So, here I am. A woman of a certain age, trying something new.
There will be stories, trust me.
Until Next Time,Peace & Blessings...